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What you’ll learn in this episode:
If you’ve been feeling stuck, unseen, or like your momentum has mysteriously vanished — this episode is your wake-up call. In today’s episode I’m “coming in hot” to talk about one of the most damaging mistakes high 6- and 7-figure entrepreneurs are making right now: staying in rooms that are no longer aligned, profitable, or growth-focused.
Whether it’s a mastermind you’ve outgrown, a networking event filled with peers instead of buyers, or a business community that doesn’t reflect your values — being in the wrong room is costing you more than just time. It’s draining your energy, stunting your growth, and slowly killing your confidence.
I’m going to break down:
- The four hidden costs of being in the wrong room — and why the emotional damage might be the worst of all
- The types of rooms you need to leave ASAP — even if they used to “work”
- The surprising mindset shifts that keep successful entrepreneurs stuck in misaligned spaces
- The three-part process for finding your next “Hell Yes!” room, even if you’re not totally sure what it is yet
I’m also going to share a tool to help you evaluate your current spaces and take immediate action to realign your business and growth strategy. By the end of this episode, you’re going to have clarity on where you’re playing small, the rooms you don’t want to be in, and how to make your way to the right rooms that will give your business an instant up-level.
In this episode, you will learn to:
- Why “staying loyal” to old communities may be silently destroying your confidence and visibility
- The top 6 types of rooms that look helpful on the outside — but are secretly holding you back
- A proven framework to audit your rooms, find better alignment, and create massive momentum now
Mentioned in this episode:
Get in the Right Rooms: Room Audit Worksheet
Work/Connect with me:
Jessica Miller
00:01 – 00:18
Well, hello, my friends. Welcome to this week’s episode of the It’s Your Offer podcast. I am so excited to come in here today and talk to you about something that is costing you more than just time. It’s costing you money, momentum, and confidence.
Jessica Miller
00:19 – 00:51
Over the past several weeks, I have had this conversation about this specific topic more times than I care to even count. It has come up both in my own life and in the life of my clients and in my colleagues. And at face value, it doesn’t seem like a major thing. But I want to say that it I think right now, it is one of the biggest things that is holding us back in our business.
Jessica Miller
00:51 – 01:21
And frankly, it is driving me crazy to hear this and to see this. So today I decided I’m going to come on this podcast, as my son would say, coming in hot. And I am going to share what I have been hearing, what I have been experiencing or what I have experienced, and how to work through this so you can stop holding yourself back. What I am talking about is being in the wrong rooms.
Jessica Miller
01:22 – 02:05
Staying in spaces that are no longer aligned, they are no longer profitable, and quite frankly, they are keeping you playing small. If you are a high six-figure or seven-figure business owner still showing up in masterminds or communities or places that aren’t driving sales or growth or enriching your life in a significant way, this episode is for you. And I want you to stay with me to the end because after I break this down for you and talk to you about and show you how this is really keeping you stuck, I am going to share with you a tool on how you can uncover this in your own business and get through it.
Jessica Miller
02:05 – 02:27
And not like someday, I mean right now with this tool that I’m going to share for you so we can stop it. Get unstuck and get out of the rooms we should not be in and get into the rooms that we are supposed to be in. Because the real cost of being in the wrong rooms is huge. It is huge.
Jessica Miller
02:27 – 02:43
Okay? And here are the things that this is really costing you. When you are in the wrong rooms and you are spending your time and energy and your focus there when you should be someplace else. Okay, number one, it’s costing you at very face value, time and money, right?
Jessica Miller
02:43 – 03:21
Every time you show up in a room where your ideal client isn’t or your ideal partners and connections are not there, you are taking time away from where they are. One of my mentors and she I still work with her and she still tells me that she’s like, Jess, for everything you say yes to, you’re saying no to something else. So, when you’re in the wrong rooms, the cost of being there is that you are not being in the right rooms. And not only is that like physically costing you money on your balance sheet right now, but there is an opportunity cost there, both from a time and money perspective.
Jessica Miller
03:21 – 03:34
So that is the first place. The second place that it is costing you, the other cost of this is your momentum. wrong rooms slow you down. I cannot emphasize this enough.
Jessica Miller
03:34 – 03:57
They slow you down when there is no synergy, no energy and no traction. You are just dead in the water. Like you are stagnating. It’s literally like dead air and I literally mean this because many of us who are listening to this run their business very much online or they run their business very much through networking.
Jessica Miller
03:57 – 04:33
And when you are showing up in a place where there’s not that understanding that energetic alignment, the synergies, You literally are talking to someone and there’s like no response, no recognition. It’s not jiving. So that momentum that we create when we are in a space where people are aligning energetically or they are aligning in their understanding when that is not there, the momentum plummets and we literally are sitting in a place often where there is that dead air. The next place where it’s costing you is in your growth.
Jessica Miller
04:33 – 04:56
Your growth stagnates when you are in an environment that doesn’t challenge or elevate you. You literally flatline. Because there isn’t growth, there isn’t this catching on or wave or that pickup of sales and sharing and all of the pieces that go with driving that growth curve. You are literally flatlining.
Jessica Miller
04:57 – 05:17
And it is just a slow place to stagnation and, frankly, irrelevance. Because when people don’t understand what you’re doing, when you’re in a place where they’re not aligning and you’re not growing because they’re not getting it or it’s not the right people, they tune you out. You become irrelevant. So, there is that growth stagnation.
Jessica Miller
05:17 – 05:34
It is costing you growth. And then one of the last big places that I see this cost like skyrocketing. And it pains me to my soul because I care about all of the tactical pieces. Like we can really like see those and hold them in our hands.
Jessica Miller
05:34 – 05:45
And it’s the place a lot of times our brains go first. But this one is like the silent killer. And I want to tell you it is one of the most deadly pieces. It is one of the most biggest costs.
Jessica Miller
05:46 – 06:09
And that is the cost of being in the wrong rooms is a confidence killer. It is a confidence killer. When you are speaking to people who don’t get your offer and they make you second guess your own brilliance, they’re kind of looking at you with those blank stares, that confused feedback, or worse, just like we said, that dead air, that silence. You start internalizing that.
Jessica Miller
06:09 – 06:16
You start asking yourself these questions of, like, is it me? Is it my offer? Is my business broken? Like, is there something wrong with me?
Jessica Miller
06:17 – 06:26
You know, we start to, like, look at all of these pieces, and when we then eliminate them, like, I don’t think it’s my offer. I don’t think it’s my business. I don’t know. My website’s pretty cool.
Jessica Miller
06:26 – 06:50
I think my one-liner sounds okay. What we end up doing is deducing down to this like common denominator, which is completely untrue, which is the problem must be me. And when you start getting into that tailspin, it completely kills your confidence. and that confidence killer is so far reaching in our business, it affects everything.
Jessica Miller
06:51 – 07:19
Our energy, our willingness to be seen, our visibility, our like gumption and our will to get out there, it is so, so problematic. and that emotional drain is really, really, really damaging, okay? And I want to dig into this a little bit around like what does this mean? Especially that emotional piece that I feel like is that underpinning, it’s the undercurrent that kind of drives all these other things, right?
Jessica Miller
07:19 – 07:45
It drives like us wasting our time and money or, you know, killing our momentum or stagnating our growth. There really is like this deep emotional piece that ends up being that kind of like that broken foundation we’re filling if we’re actually building and it’s problematic. So, what does that mean? Like, how is that energy and those practical things sort of coming together?
Jessica Miller
07:46 – 08:08
So, when you’re in a room that is wrong, and I don’t mean this in a villainizing way, I mean, we’re in a place where we have outgrown it. It no longer aligns with us. It’s not where we’re supposed to be. And that could be because, like I said, it’s not serving us in our business now.
Jessica Miller
08:08 – 08:39
It was amazing when we needed it, and now it’s time to move forward. Or maybe the people change, or the focus changes, or there’s a logistical practical piece of it. But it’s just it’s not where we’re supposed to be. And when we have rooms like that that are reflecting back the wrong energy or the wrong values or the wrong fit, whether that’s like the framework or actually the people, it causes a breakdown and a cost in all these areas that I talked about.
Jessica Miller
08:40 – 09:06
So, when you’re sitting in groups with people who either like don’t believe in the way that you do your business, or maybe they don’t understand your level of success, maybe the frameworks that you’re using are not in alignment with them. And this again, isn’t to villainize where you’re at. It’s just it’s a different philosophy. So, to give you an example of this, In the work that I do, it is about depth and focus and quality.
Jessica Miller
09:07 – 09:36
It’s about looking at your business and raising the value of it and raising the focus and the powerfulness of your assets. It means doing less things better. There are people out in business and there are communities that have a very different perspective on growing business. They’re about doing lots of things, many shiny objects, hustling, you know, going out and doing as many things as you possibly can to spur that growth.
Jessica Miller
09:36 – 10:03
And that’s great if that’s what you want to do. Or maybe you have a business that aligns with that, that it makes sense where you’re growing in that capacity. But for me and my ideal clients, my partners, the collaborations I do, that is not my philosophy. So, if I’m hanging out in those spaces, when I’m talking about what it is that I’m helping people with or the type of people that I engage with that grow in that way, it’s not clicking.
Jessica Miller
10:04 – 10:27
Another place is if I’m in a space with, let’s pretend, business owners who just started a few months ago. Like they are lovely. They are growing their business. There are things that they need to do at that level, things that are important to them that they should be leaning into more versus somebody who’s in a place where I am, where we’re now like a decade in and the people that I’m spending my time with are
Jessica Miller
10:27 – 10:47
not often brand-new business owners. It’s not wrong. It’s just not where I’m supposed to be. And many of the things that I would be doing also, not only not being applicable to them and them not understanding it, but when you’re just getting off the ground as a business owner, it’s very different than having an existing business and optimizing.
Jessica Miller
10:48 – 11:07
So many of those philosophies wouldn’t necessarily work or be best for them. So, there’s just this misalignment. There’s this mismatch, really. and what happens is what’s being reflected back, what you are pulling in, both like mentally and physically, create this discord.
Jessica Miller
11:07 – 11:22
It’s not jiving, okay? So that’s what happens in those spaces. It also sometimes can really like lower your standards. And what I mean by this is it starts to normalize being misunderstood, like sort of like under celebrated, overlooked.
Jessica Miller
11:23 – 11:55
You literally start shrinking back because the information you’re getting back from the people that are talking to you, is not the information or the tools or the things that you need to grow. And so, we start like slowly eroding, we start playing small, we start getting smaller, instead of going in against that tidal wave, because that tidal wave is also hard to overcome. And frankly, our brain is kind of like, listen, if no one’s getting this, Jess, like, are you really gonna say it more? Are you gonna push harder?
Jessica Miller
11:55 – 12:14
So, we start to like, bring our standards down. And it makes us feel very small. And when you’re constantly shrinking to sort of like fit in or maybe make other people feel comfortable or dumbing down your brilliance, like it’s not noble. It’s not the road to actually assimilating.
Jessica Miller
12:14 – 12:27
It’s actually very harmful. And again, I don’t mean harmful in a villainous way, although it is really detrimental to your business. I mean, it’s just not getting you closer to what you want. Okay?
Jessica Miller
12:27 – 13:17
And it is creating all sorts of drama in your life and in your business because these signals that you’re getting and that you’re picking up are not Connected to your goals. They’re not connected to where you want to go. They’re not in service of you moving forward and it’s really problematic Okay, not to mention the fact that for many of us at this level We are in communities groups places that we are paying a lot of money for a lot of money I mean big bucks sometimes thousands of dollars a month and that is a significant part of our bottom line and our expenses. So, this is another important thing of this draining and misalignment, right?
Jessica Miller
13:17 – 13:23
There’s that emotional piece. There’s the practical piece of like, what am I getting back? Is it helping me grow? Am I getting the tools that I need?
Jessica Miller
13:23 – 13:40
Am I moving forward? Am I connecting with the people that I need to be connecting with, both from clients to partners to everything in between? And then what am I physically like spending to be in this space? And I promise you, it’s usually a lot of money, a lot of money.
Jessica Miller
13:41 – 14:01
So, these are the pieces that, you know, emotionally, we start to create this broken foundation. And then all of these offshoots of results are not the things that we want. And they’re, they’re not building the business that we need, or want to thrive. So, what kind of rooms am I talking about?
Jessica Miller
14:01 – 14:27
Here are the common places I am seeing. And again, these are the things that I have experienced in my own life that I am hearing from other people over and over, clients, colleagues, partners. This is where we are showing up often and the common wrong rooms that we stay in. Okay, number one, I mentioned this earlier, mastermind groups like paid groups and masterminds that we have outgrown.
Jessica Miller
14:28 – 14:49
I’m going to say that for every mastermind that you have joined, I would say it’s probably been a great investment as a rule. It’s not like people are joining all of the worst masterminds. Some of them, maybe you’re like, this was not the right choice and I shouldn’t be here and I’m feeling that. But I think for the most part, we join great masterminds.
Jessica Miller
14:49 – 14:56
There’s awesome groups out there. However, we have outgrown them. They were great. They got us to where we are.
Jessica Miller
14:56 – 15:18
They gave us the resources and the communities and the partnerships and all the things that we needed. Maybe you even found some of your favorite clients in these masterminds. But you’re now at a place where you are paying a lot of money and you are staying within this space that you have outgrown. It is not the thing that is going to get you to the next level.
Jessica Miller
15:19 – 15:53
and because we’re paying for it, and often many of us will pay, like we’ll pay in full, so we think, oh my gosh, we’ve paid for it, I need to be here, but we have outgrown it, and it is not where we are meant to be anymore. Okay, so masterminds you’ve outgrown is one of them, and it’s a big one, because it ends up often being the most costly, most costly time, energy, and money. The second place is business communities not built around your client profile. I have to tell you; this was an area for me that was kind of like being hit over the head with like a bucket of cold water.
Jessica Miller
15:54 – 16:31
You know, as I evolved my business and my clients started to uplevel very quickly, I ended up moving into this space with my business where my offers were completely misaligned with the community that I had been in. that I had been helping a lot of, you know, earlier entrepreneurs and people who were just starting out to now being in this place where I was helping more established businesses and bigger businesses. And what I found was I was hanging around in these communities with people who weren’t either building with my client profile or weren’t my ideal clients. And it was problematic, again, from the time and the energy effort.
Jessica Miller
16:32 – 16:47
But here’s the thing. When you start hanging around in a community, where maybe you’re even like selling things that are misaligned to the people that are there, or trying to partner with people that are not aligned to your client profile. It doesn’t feel good. And sometimes those people will buy it.
Jessica Miller
16:47 – 17:09
Like I have had in the past many times clients who have bought offers from me. And you know, they wanted them they were completely all in and they wanted the result. But now as a more seasoned business owner, I realized that those were not the ideal clients for that offer. It wasn’t going to feel good when they were spending that money.
Jessica Miller
17:09 – 17:34
It wasn’t really going to get them the results that they wanted, even if they thought that maybe that was what they needed. You know, after you have some of that understanding and you have grown and you’ve worked with a certain client, you know what they need and sometimes before they do. And so, these communities built around a client profile that isn’t yours, they end up not working well and they end up not feeling good. Another place is networking.
Jessica Miller
17:34 – 17:47
Networking events filled with your peers, where it’s a great social opportunity, but they’re not your buyers. They’re not your ideal client. They’re not connected to your ideal client. They’re not going to help you grow.
Jessica Miller
17:47 – 18:10
And it’s not that these people aren’t amazing and you shouldn’t spend time with them. But if we’re looking at your business growth, you don’t want to be going to networking events where you’re looking to grow and foster your business. And the people that are in the room are not connected to or your buyers. I see this a lot where, you know, we feel like we’re not getting traction with our offers.
Jessica Miller
18:10 – 18:29
We’re not getting traction with our business. It’s because we’re essentially showing up in rooms that are filled with the wrong people. So being aligned and making sure that you’re not in a room with people that are not buyers or not connected to your buyers is really, really important. associations with high fees and no ROI.
Jessica Miller
18:29 – 18:59
This includes like very logistically challenging associations. For me personally, there are incredible organizations that are out there that do really great things for growing businesses. However, in my opinion for my business, their fees are astronomical and the logistics and practicality around that, like the times that they meet, what I need to do to stay as part of those associations, all of the like paperwork and administrative things that go along with being a member.
Jessica Miller
18:59 – 19:22
It’s not a fit for me. It’s actually going to cost me more energy and time and heartache to be in these places than other associations or, you know, communities that would make sense for me and my ideal client and the business that I’m trying to grow. Another place are groups that are not emotionally or energetically aligned. Listen, like I said earlier, there are amazing people in this world.
Jessica Miller
19:22 – 19:29
I love them. They are just not my people. A lot of times we can feel it the second we walk in a room. We don’t honor that intuition.
Jessica Miller
19:29 – 19:49
We kind of like cast it aside for all the practical like features that are, you know, being kind of sold to us as it relates to these groups. But in reality, like, these are not our people, that we’re not emotionally and energetically aligned. Maybe they’re not aligned with some of the values that we want. Maybe they’re spending their time on things that we don’t necessarily care about or want to be spending all of our time on.
Jessica Miller
19:50 – 20:14
And it’s just not a place to go. And that includes this next piece, and I mentioned this earlier, about philosophy or business models that are in conflict to your value or just, you know, what it is that you want to be doing in the world. And you don’t want to be stuck in these places where there’s that clash because it does matter and you want it to feel easy. and like you’re in flow.
Jessica Miller
20:15 – 20:37
And like you’re, you can see those steps ahead and how it connects with how it’s going to grow your business. If you’re intuitively feeling that rub, it’s probably because it’s there and you want to honor that and not stay in those spaces. So, how do you get in the right rooms, right? What does that look like?
Jessica Miller
20:38 – 20:59
Here’s what I want you to do, okay? Two things. I want you to go to the show notes in this episode and I want you to download the Get in the Right Rooms room audit worksheet. I have put together the exact steps for you to follow so that you can figure out what are the right rooms, what rooms you need to get out of, and how do you do that right now.
Jessica Miller
21:00 – 21:18
Okay. So, I want you to go download that. And then I want you to start with this one question. I want you to think of one room that you are in right now that is costing you more than it is contributing to your growth, your happiness, your energy.
Jessica Miller
21:19 – 21:29
You know the one I am talking about. Okay. I want you to think of one room right now that you should not be in. And I want you to write it down.
Jessica Miller
21:31 – 21:37
and then I want you to ask yourself. Why are you still there? Why are you there? I want you to get honest with yourself.
Jessica Miller
21:38 – 22:13
I want us to stop pretending it’s no big deal. Because I really think, right now, in this point in time, with the frequency that I have been hearing about this, and that I have been also having had experienced it, and experienced it with my clients, I think this is one of the biggest energetic and practical things that are holding people back in their business. Business owners are capable, they have awesome offers, there is so much opportunity and money on the table for them in their business already, but they have to get out of the spaces that are dragging them down.
Jessica Miller
22:14 – 22:32
And there are so many things underneath there and layers as to why that’s happening, but just being aware that you’re doing it and asking yourself the question of why are you staying there is the first step. tiny turtle step to making your way to the exit. Okay. So those are the two things I want you to ask yourself right now.
Jessica Miller
22:33 – 22:54
I want you to grab that worksheet and, in that worksheet, here is what is going to ask you about. It’s going to ask you to look at what rooms are you in. It’s going to ask you to look at where and what is happening in those rooms and is it serving you? it’s going to give you that suggestion of maybe it’s time to think of something new and leave.
Jessica Miller
22:55 – 23:21
We’re gonna talk about how you can do that and the steps you can take, the few easy steps to get yourself into the right rooms. And this is a practice that it’s going to blow your mind right now, but it’s something that you can take with you wherever you go. And it’s something that can make you a lot of money and bring you so much momentum right now. And what this is really going to help you create a practice of is this.
Jessica Miller
23:22 – 23:39
It will help you create a practice of, number one, auditing the rooms you are in regularly. Like, do these rooms generate revenue, opportunities, alignment, connection? Are they building your business? Number two, they’re gonna give you insight to the data, the evidence, meaning, where are your best clients coming from?
Jessica Miller
23:40 – 23:52
Are they in this room? Like, do people get me instantly when I’m here? What is actually happening? Number three, it’s gonna help you build the muscle of being willing to leave before you know exactly where you’re going.
Jessica Miller
23:53 – 24:23
Because a lot of times, it takes that bravery to leave a room without knowing, like, what is the next room that you’re gonna go to? I also want to say, side note, that we usually have an idea of where else we should be, and we may not know exactly what that room is, but we have that intuitive hit. And sometimes we need clarity so that we can actually find it. The courage that you create, that is the first step to finding the clarity.
Jessica Miller
24:23 – 24:42
You have to be willing to leave to then be able to open up that space to exactly find the room that you want to be in. and we always for want to find the rooms that stretch and support you, right? We want to make sure that we are now building a muscle to be in the spaces where people see your value. They challenge you with love.
Jessica Miller
24:43 – 25:00
They’re going to be straight with you, but not be cruel. And they want, you know, to work with and refer you, right? These are really powerful assets in our business to be in these rooms. We want them to work for us, and we do not want to be spending the time where they aren’t working for us, okay?
Jessica Miller
25:00 – 25:29
So, you didn’t build a business, a six and seven figure business, by playing small, and you’re not going to hit that next level by staying in the rooms that don’t serve you. If you have been feeling disconnected, unseen, or stuck, it is not you. It is the room you are in. And you do not owe anyone your presence, your time, your energy in spaces that don’t grow your revenue and your spirit.
Jessica Miller
25:30 – 25:53
You want to walk through and make sure that you are getting out of the wrong rooms and getting into the right room. So go grab that worksheet. Walk through that quick, quick workshop to audit your rooms, figure out those right rooms, get really clear, and get in there. Because I’m not kidding, this is the lever to pull.
Jessica Miller
25:54 – 26:23
If you feel like you are driving your Maserati down the highway, okay, like super highway of awesomeness, own your own business, you’re doing great things, but it feels like the emergency brake is up, I’m pretty sure this is what’s going on, right? Misalignment, you know, offers that are not working, those kinds of broken things, being in the wrong places, talking to the wrong people, slow you down, okay? And you are meant for the fast lane of your business. That’s why you are doing this.
Jessica Miller
26:24 – 26:30
Make sure you get that worksheet. Work through it. We want to hear all about it, okay? We want to hear all about it.
Jessica Miller
26:31 – 26:47
And take those 10 minutes today, figure out that one room that you know, you know the room, that if you got out it would change everything. Ask yourself why you’re still there. And then go and, you know, get that worksheet and audit those places where you’re showing up. And be honest.
Jessica Miller
26:47 – 27:01
Are they growing your business or just eating your time? Okay? and if you want to connect with more people who get it, in addition to doing that worksheet, and if you want help growing fast, you all know where I am on the interwebs, okay? Subscribe to this podcast.
Jessica Miller
27:02 – 27:08
Reach out to me. We always want to hear from you. Let’s get you in the right room right now. You got this.
Jessica Miller
27:08 – 27:10
Until next week, everyone, have a beautiful week.
