Subscribe
What you’ll learn in this episode:
Starting a business is often fueled by a burning desire or a specific need. However, as every seasoned entrepreneur knows, the initial vision can evolve over time. As our businesses grow and evolve, so do we. It’s not uncommon for entrepreneurs to find themselves drifting away from their original goals, led astray by the day-to-day operations of their business. To ensure your business remains aligned with your true passion, it’s crucial to regularly reconnect with your core desires.
In this episode, I’ll delve deep into the strategies I employ to stay connected with my entrepreneurial desires and ensure my business reflects my true passion. By understanding and embracing what you genuinely want, you unlock a reservoir of creativity and drive. When you’re fully aligned with your desires, your business doesn’t just succeed; it thrives.
In this episode, you will:
- Discover the importance of introspection in understanding and refining your business goals.
- Learn how to use your Body Compass and physical sensations as a guide to navigate your entrepreneurial desires (often, our bodies recognize our true wants before our minds do).
- Understand the significance of setting aside dedicated time to focus on your goals and aspirations.
- Develop a daily routine that keeps your entrepreneurial spirit alive and ensures your business stays true to your vision.
Mentioned in this episode:
Work/Connect with me:
Canyon Ranch Fall 2023 Retreat
Jessica Miller
[0:02] Hello, everyone, and welcome to this week’s episode of the It’s Your Offer Podcast. I’m Jess Miller. I’m so excited to be here with you this week to talk about knowing what you want.
Jessica Miller
[0:13] As entrepreneurs, wanting something bought us to the playing field of starting our own business. But as many of you know, we don’t stay the same person on our journey as an entrepreneur. When we start out, we want our business for a certain reason. As we start to grow, our wants shift. And I would argue that even throughout the year, our desires, and our wants shift, in order for you to be in alignment with the business that you’re running and in alignment with the business that you’re creating. You need to be aware of what it is that you actually want. Sometimes we could just kind of move into the inertia of our business doing the things that we do and end up on a path going to a place that we may not really want to be going. And so looking at what you want, and reassessing that, and knowing how to really figure out what it is that you want is a really important part of the business journey.
Jessica Miller
[1:21] I would argue that getting clear on what you want, both in the acute sense, like what do I want this week, and also in the more long term sense, like what do I want this year, or maybe five years, or 10 years from now, is really important for you to be able to then reverse engineer your goals, your plan and your day to day to be in alignment with that. It’s also really important, as I said, to be able to shift what that looks like when your desires shift. I think desire gets somewhat of a bad rap. Wanting things gets a bad rap. I think there’s this undercurrent of, if you want something, or you want more, or you want something different, that somehow, you’re greedy, or you’re ungrateful, or you’re not happy. But I am here to offer the idea that wanting, and desire is the fuel behind creating amazing things in your life in your business. Every single thing that you touch: this podcast, the thing that I’m recording on, the camera, your potholder, like all of those things, right? Everything, your car, came from a desire. And I think that desire is great. And I think that learning to tap into that, and being able to access what it is that we really want is one of the most important things that we can do in our business.
Jessica Miller
[2:45] I would also argue that if you want to create that streamline business, that business that’s in alignment, that’s creating the result in the impact to the highest potential that it possibly can, you need to know exactly where you’re going. You need to know what you want. And so today, I want to talk about some of the things that I do to tap into this desire, to get clear on what I want. Now, I want to also caveat this by saying it’s not like we think about what we want, and we’re like, yes, that’s it, let’s go. Done. No drama. It’s not like that. A lot of times when we’re going through this exercise, a lot of stuff comes up. And our brain’s like, what? Really? Like, can I do that? Is that for real? You know, especially as we start to play on bigger fields, right? We start to desire and want bigger things. We’re not exactly sure how to make that happen, and we’re not exactly sure what that path looks like. I’m here to ask you to suspend the how for now, and just practice the desiring the wanting, the getting clear on what that actually looks like. And using some of these things that I’m about to share with you as a way to tap into that. Because knowing what you want and embracing it, is the fuel behind creating it. And if you don’t know what you want, or if you are doing something that you don’t really want to be doing, or that isn’t alignment with what you really want, it’s going to feel terrible.
Jessica Miller
[4:19] And the opposite is also true when you tap into that desire, when it is hell yes for you, when you really want it. Guess what happened? The floodgates open, right? You become so creative, there’s so much momentum, and it feels so awesome, right? That’s when it gets really good. And that’s what we want to be tapping into. So knowing what you want and being able to access that is the name of the game. And I would argue that if you’re not able to do that, it’s almost like you’re riding around with the emergency brake pulled up. Like you can do it, but it’s not going to be as easy and as fluid and as fun.
Jessica Miller
[5:01] So today, I want to share with you some of the ways that I figure out what I want. And I’ve actually been incorporating this into my days, more religiously, in probably the past four months. Because what I noticed is exactly what I’m telling you about. I was kind of on autopilot. I started to just run my business the way it was always run. And I forgot to ask myself and reevaluate if it’s what I really wanted. Was it really lighting me up? Was it hell yes? And so at the beginning of the year, I started to move into that space. I started to realize it wasn’t quite there. It just needed some tweaks. There were different things I wanted to be doing. I was, you know, evolving some of the frameworks and things that I was putting out, and I needed to shift with that, and so I started to do that. But about four months ago, I made it part of my every day. And I literally put it on my calendar. And I’ll tell you a little bit about that, too. But when I started doing that, it changed everything. Everything. So I want to share with you some of those things that I do. So get a pen and paper, write this stuff down, and go out and try it. I’m telling you it will knock your socks off.
Jessica Miller
[6:19] Okay, so number one, the first thing that I do is I get quiet. This is kind of funny from a person who has a lot of energy and is always in motion. And frankly, the speech part of who I am, the communication part, is probably one of my most powerful gifts. Not everybody likes to speak, not everyone has sort of that gift of speaking, but for me, it’s a medium that I really enjoy, and I think I can embrace in a very powerful way. Some people, right, some people do other things. But for me, it’s about speaking, accessing the wisdom to put into words, or accessing what I want so I can create the words to go with that or create the direction or plan to make it happen, comes from being quiet. I call it marinating. I need to get quiet. And marinate doesn’t mean I have to not be doing something. I could be doing it. I could be sitting at my desk, I could be listening to music, I could be walking, I could be doing whatever. Or I could be doing nothing. I could be meditating, sitting still. But what I need to be doing is getting quiet. When I get quiet, so much rises to the surface. It’s like I am dialing down all of the noise and I am allowing all the wisdom to bubble to the surface.
Jessica Miller
[7:50] The other thing that’s happening in that quiet is there’s this beautiful melding. I feel like the, the idea that comes to my brain is like when you have a pot on the stove simmering. Like there’s something happening, but it’s simmering. Like everything is gelling, it’s marinating. It’s like forming this beautiful connection of things that cannot happen when I’m in all the noise. I need the space. So getting quiet allows you to allow all that wisdom to be heard. It’s like you’re giving that part of your being the microphone, and it’s going to tell you all sorts of awesome stuff. So for you, how can you get quiet? How could you get quiet? What allows you to give your brain and body that space to be heard, to marinate to let all the things come up to the surface? I want you to think about this and write it down. And I want you to promise yourself that you’re, this week, you’re going to give yourself time to want to know what you want, to embrace it, to really own it and start with getting quiet. Okay, so how, what allows you? How can you get quiet so that it allows all that stuff to come to the surface?
Jessica Miller
[9:17] The second piece is what I call feeling forward. It is a big joke that I had in masterminds that I was in and coaching, you know, circles that I was in that I would forget to feel. And what I mean by that is I am so cerebral. I, literally, if someone asked me how I feel, I would say, I think I feel you know this way. I am so in my head. And that’s a very positive thing. I mean, I embrace that about myself. But what I forget is that there are feelings in there. There’s a physical component to my body and my journey that is feeling. And so one of the most incredible tools that we have when it comes to wanting or desire, is our body as a compass. Martha Beck taught me about the body compass. And your body is a powerful tool. And when it comes to desiring something or wanting something, your body tunes in immediately, I would actually argue it tunes in quicker than your brain. So one of the ways that you can navigate your desire, literally like a compass, like, where do I want to be, and what do I want to be doing, is by using your body as the compass to orient to the feelings.
Jessica Miller
[10:36] The way that you do this is find something you really love doing, or that you just really love. It brings you joy, it brings you happy to that full body experience. And I want you to go interact with it. Whatever it is. Maybe it’s like your favorite music, your favorite person, your favorite thing, whatever it is, and I want you to notice how it feels in your body. Whatever that feeling is, whatever that vibration is, wherever you feel it in your body. That is the signal of what it feels like to be in desire, in joy, in wanting of something. Once you know what that is for you, you literally could follow that around all day long, orienting yourself to different things, and waiting for your body to literally orient to the feeling of want, desire, joy. Once you hit that thing, and you have a feeling in your body, you know, that’s a desire. That’s a want. And so you use your body as a compass. This is a fascinating and fun exercise for those of you that are like me that are so in your brain, it’s almost like you’re going to go through your day, or your experience on the hunt for something that feels awesome. It’s so good. It’s like major dopamine hit, like a full-on body, like this is amazing.
Jessica Miller
[11:58] And when you do that, you start to then find the things that are pulling you forward, that are compelling you toward it. And that’s one of the ways that you feel forward toward your desires and your wants. Where you, where you can really tune in to the things that you really want to be doing. Here’s the other thing I want to tell you. Your body never lies. We’ve all had this. Like, you’re like that experience where you have to go and do something, and you trying to talk yourself into it. And your body is just like it is a physical thing. It doesn’t like it. It’s like you could get your brain on board, but it’s like your body and your heart like different ballgame. Different ballgame. So your body immediately picks up those signals. It picks up the signals from your environment, other people, all the things. It is fascinating. So this second thing is about feeling forward. It’s about using your body as this compass, to determine what it is you really want. As you’re thinking through things as you’re working through them as you’re coming into contact with them. What is literally lighting you up? What is setting your soul on fire? Feel forward and find it.
Jessica Miller
[13:06] So I want you to make a list of those things that light you up. So that you can orient yourself to your, to the feeling. And then just take an afternoon. Like you’re just going to take yourself on a joyride. And you’re gonna start to observe like, be the observer, be the witness. What are you drawn to? What are you drawn, drawn to enjoy? It is awesome. I promise you. You will find out some crazy radical things about yourself that you’re like, oh, I didn’t know that I like loved this t shirt so much. Or I didn’t know that I loved you know hanging out with this person so much. It’s, it’s really fascinating, and it’s very powerful. So that’s the second thing feel forward.
Jessica Miller
[13:48] The third thing is make the space for this time to intentionally tap into your desires and your wants. As I mentioned earlier, I started doing this three or four months ago. And I did it because I started to see how powerful, how powerful it was, when I got clear on what I wanted, and how much I could create from that space. When I was working with one of my coaches, a phrase that I actually wrote down and I have hanging on my computer. And if you’re watching the video of this, I’m holding it up, too. There it is. It says, when I can see it, I can create it. So for me as someone who is so cerebral, when I could give myself the space to visualize it and actually see it, I can create it. I get so much energy, the compulsion to move toward it and the creative juices that come from intentionally making the space to see the thing that I want, and to really connect with that desire is beyond powerful. It’s like everything comes from there. And I also tend to be one of those people that when I, you know, when I’m thinking about it, when I’m just in my head, I’m not giving myself the space. I’m kind of moving through all the motions, and I’m seeing all the pieces, I can get really overwhelmed like, oh my god, there’s all these things that I could do for this, bla bla bla bla. Off to the races.
Jessica Miller
[15:15] But when I intentionally make the space for it, and hold that space, I’m able to see exactly what I need to do. And all the other stuff sort of falls away. And then I get done and move toward the thing that I want, in a much more streamlined, much more efficient, and productive way. it is like magic. It really is. So as far as making the space, one of the things that I have done is I have literally created, on my calendar every single day in the morning, it’s actually five days a week, I do it Monday through Friday, and I call it The Magic Hour. And what I do is I literally spend time in that space, marinating. I make the space for the dreaming and scheming. Another Martha Beck word, dreaming and scheming. And so some days that might look like just sitting there and thinking about it. Some days it will go, I will go to a place where I like scratch down a bunch of ideas, and I will let them have the space to sort of come out and come to life. Other times I will just surf the internet.
Jessica Miller
[16:20] Total sidenote story, and I think many of you have heard me say this before, I have a dream of bringing my family to Italy for a summer. I’ve always wanted to do that. I don’t exactly know how that’s going to happen, but let me tell you that in my magic hour, I connect to it. I am so dialed in to that desire and that want. And what ends up happening is when I start to go surf the web, just to do some research, it is like magic. It is the most incredible thing. I am out there. I am looking at the site, I’m getting inspired by the pictures. It could be something completely outlandish. Maybe even something that I wouldn’t necessarily consider like some you know, I don’t even know Yeah, and up on the page of some, you know charter to high end yacht. It doesn’t matter. If it’s really going to be my path, the inspiration and creativity that comes from that is incredible.
Jessica Miller
[17:17] It may not, it could be something, like pretend if I was looking at like a charter yacht. And I’m like, oh my gosh, that bathroom on that yacht is amazing. I need to have a tub in the Airbnb that looks like that wherever I end up, okay. it’s happening. It could be something like that, or, you know, I come upon, you know, the picture of this yacht sitting in the port. And it’s not even about the yacht. It’s like, where are they? Oh, my gosh, this town I’ve never heard of. Now I’m in that mental space. So making the space for that is so powerful. And so I started doing that and putting it on my calendar. And every day, I have this magic hour. And I really give myself the time to dream and scheme around it and create that magic, and let all of that wisdom and all of that desire come to the surface. And not only is it powerful and effective, but I have to tell you, it is so much fun.
Jessica Miller
[18:18] Because, frankly, what are we doing this for, if not to move toward what we want, and create the things that we desire, and have the impact we want to have? And we hardly ever give ourselves the space and the time to actually let that come together to see it. But when you do, it is huge. So where can you make the space for this? Can you just even put five minutes on your calendar every day? Can you block off maybe time on the weekend? You know, can you go to a coffee shop for 20 minutes? Can you do it on your walk? A lot of times I will use the space when I’m moving, you know, to really think about these things. So can you make the space and create that space to let those desires and those wants come to the surface?
Jessica Miller
[19:08] And then last but not least, create a secret routine for making this happen. And as I mentioned, you know, put this on your calendar. So it’s not enough to just say you’re going to do it. I would even argue it’s not enough to just do it some of the time. Because a lot of times it becomes like the afterthought. But I want to urge you to create a sacred routine around it. Create a space that you put on your calendar, that you make part of what it is that you do all the time, so that it consistently becomes part of who you are in your daily routine. So like I said for me, I put this on the calendar every day. I touch that magic hour, every, every day. I even started doing it sometimes with my meditation before bed because I tend to get so many great ideas when I sleep, it’s just one of those things. But I really try to protect that time. And I have to tell you, it’s made a huge difference.
Jessica Miller
[20:08] It’s not only allowed me to tap into the things that really light me up that I really want, but it’s allowed me to look at my ability to do things through a whole new lens. It made it okay for me to want big things. It made it okay for me to want little things. It made it exciting. You know that dopamine hit of desire is amazing. And it propels you to do so many cool things. So from that space, you create so much more. And I think that’s really the beautiful thing. When you start to make that part of your calendar or your routine, and you protect it and it’s really sacred, it be, it starts to become just what you do. It starts to become your identity; it starts to become a habit. And once you do that, it becomes easier. And then you start creating things that you want all the time. It becomes really just who you are, and that default mechanism of how you run your business and the things that you do in your life.
Jessica Miller
[21:06] And here’s the other awesome part about it, it spills over into your personal life. It makes the behavior of desiring things and wanting them and being okay with that, and knowing it’s not that you’re ungrateful or that it’s not enough, it’s all those things, and you want more. And then you start to get very creative, and you start to have a lot more fun. And like I said, it pulls over into your personal life. So now you’re creating so many things that you want over there, and you’re sharing it with people that you love, and it’s just like, on and on and on, that ripple gets bigger and bigger and bigger. It all starts though, with knowing what you want. You have to start with really dialing in and making that concerted effort to find out and know what you want. Once you do that, I promise you, you can create it. When you can see it, you can create it, and the seeing it comes from these practices.
Jessica Miller
[22:05] So in summary, just to recap. First, it’s get quiet. Carve out a space of time, where you can marinate, where you can get quiet. Where you let all these things come together and gel. And you’re giving the air space to yourself to let all that wisdom and those desires be heard.
Jessica Miller
[22:24] The second thing is feel forward. Use your body as a compass. Your body is a compass, as Martha Beck always says. Feel your way forward. Your body will not lie to you. It will tell you exactly what you want. It will tell you what feels amazing, amazing, and it will draw you to that. It will orient you to that. Use your body as that compass to move you toward the things that you really want, that make you happy and create joy.
Jessica Miller
[22:50] Three is make the space. Carve out that time for yourself so that you can focus on this practice. You could do something like I do, and put it on your calendar. Really make a space for that Magic Hour. Or you could take five minutes here or there, or whatever works for you, to hold that space so that you’re giving yourself really that breadth and space to allow these things to come together in an intentional way. You are spending that time really focusing on what you want, and what your desires are.
Jessica Miller
[23:22] And then last but not least, create a sacred routine around it. Put it on your calendar. Make it part of your daily habit. Whatever it is, make it something that you do, and you touch every day. When you do that, it becomes part of who you are. It becomes your identity. Going after what you want and creating your world and your life and your business from that place, reverse engineering it, becomes part of your identity. And it becomes something that you just do on autopilot. And that is not just in your business, that is in your whole life. And what more could this world need than people who desire and want things and go after it. And then they create a big impact and then they share it with everything else, and on and on and on and on. It would blow everything that we know out of the water, right? Because amazing things come from those desires. It’s not something to be afraid of. It’s not something to think that we, you know, don’t deserve or we’re being ungrateful. It is the fuel behind everything that we create. And I promise you, it is the very thing that will create your biggest breakthrough and your biggest impact in your business.
Jessica Miller [24:33] So go and dance with that desire. Go and find out exactly what you want. Knowing what you want is the rocket fuel behind your business, behind all that hell yes-ness, and behind everything that you can create, and all the people that you can help, and it is essential. So take these things. Let us know how you’re doing it. We want to know what you want. We are all here collectively to help each other get more of what you want. And here’s the thing, we all know this. You can’t do it in isolation. So, go out there, figure out what you want, and then go lock arms with all the people like us to help get it in hell yes fashion. Until next week, everyone, have a beautiful, beautiful week.
