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What you’ll learn in this episode:
Every entrepreneur, at some point, grapples with feelings of stagnation, feeling overwhelmed by the myriad tasks and inherent responsibilities of running a business. It’s a common hurdle, one I’ve faced too. However, to scale our businesses and create a lasting impact, it’s crucial to identify strategies to overcome these entrepreneurial roadblocks.
In my startup phase, physical activities like running and weightlifting were my go-to solutions to combat these feelings. Diving deep into work was another approach. Yet, as the business landscape evolved and my responsibilities multiplied, these tactics became less practical. It’s evident that as we mature in our entrepreneurial journey, our problem-solving methods need to adapt.
Recent shifts in my daily routine, witnessing my children’s growth, and pivoting my business model felt like resetting the board. This underscored the need for innovative strategies to navigate the entrepreneurial maze.
After listening, you will have actionable strategies to help tackle entrepreneurial stagnation.
In this episode, you will:
- Embracing Stillness in Entrepreneurship: It may seem paradoxical, especially for those constantly chasing goals. Yet, pausing to achieve mental clarity can be transformative, offering a fresh perspective and a renewed sense of purpose.
- Understand The Power of Physical Movement: Beyond the benefits of stillness, there’s undeniable value in physical activity for entrepreneurs. Whether it’s a brisk walk, a run, or any exercise, it’s a catalyst for a positive mindset shift, breaking the monotony of repetitive thoughts.
- Asking the Right Questions: Break free from the “I don’t know” loop. Empower yourself with thought-provoking questions like “What if the solution was within reach?” or “What’s my ideal next step?” Such introspection can unveil previously overlooked solutions and create major shifts and breakthroughs in your energy.
Mentioned in this episode:
Work/Connect with me:
Canyon Ranch Fall 2023 Retreat
Jessica Miller
[0:01] Hello, everyone, and welcome to this week’s episode of the It’s Your Offer Podcast. I’m Jess Miller and I’m so excited to be here with you to talk about getting unstuck.
Jessica Miller
[0:11] So as entrepreneurs, sometimes we can get stuck. It becomes that feeling of not being able to move forward, or the slog, or wanting to do something with that we just can’t seem to get ourselves to be doing. Does this sound familiar to anybody listening to this? I’m gonna go out on a limb and say, probably. I know, for me, sometimes I can just get really stuck. But if we want to continue to grow in our business, we want to put out there, if we want to have the big impact that we have, we have to be able to move forward, and we have to be able to get out of the stuckness. That sounds awesome. But the real question is, how the heck do I do that?
Jessica Miller
[0:53] I know, for me, this has evolved over the lifetime of my business. When I was younger, I used to just kind of go run it out, lift some weights, you know, kind of almost like sweat it out to get out of stuckness. Other times, I would you know sit down and you know, just kind of immerse myself in my work, and kind of forced myself out of that place. But as I’ve gotten older, and as my business has gotten more mature, and as I’ve had more responsibilities, more clients, team members, things like that, I can’t just go off the grid and get unstuck. And I definitely can’t do that, you know, every week. And also for me, it just, it’s changed the things that have worked for me as I’ve changed. And I think for all of us, we’re not the same entrepreneurs we were when we started our business, or even maybe six months ago.
Jessica Miller
[1:42] So it’s really important to look at the tools that we have, especially around stuckness, and explore different ways to help us move forward to get out of that place of being stuck. In full transparency, and I’ve shared this on other podcasts, this summer was a real time of transition. For me, it was a different schedule, it was a different routine, my kids are a different age, my business model has shifted, and thus, I’ve been sort of thrown into this phase of my business that feels almost like starting over. And because of that, all the things have come up. And I have found that that feeling of sort of being stuck, especially emotionally stuck, has been creeping in a lot. That’s not to say I didn’t have an amazing summer, it’s not, doesn’t do all the things that I really wanted to do, because I actually did. However, the process of that, and going through that journey, has led to a lot of what I affectionately like to call potholes, these feelings of sort of being stuck in this rut.
Jessica Miller
[2:47] And so I started to, you know, look at what I was doing to get me out of the stuckness. And I also talked to a lot of other people in my life that support me, my coaches, my colleagues. And the wonderful part of that was I realized, number one, I’m not alone. Everybody gets stuck. I mean, really, it sounds so stupid. But we forget it. Sometimes when we’re going through these things, we feel like we’re the only people on the journey. But I’m here to remind you that everybody gets stuck. And as I was talking to people, I was realizing, boy, they get stuck sometimes, too. And the second thing was that there are so many different ways to help move yourself through that. And it doesn’t have to be this sort of muscling your way, and you know, kind of, you know, elbowing, clawing your way out of it. It could actually be a more gentle process. And it can be very intentional. And so I started to put some of these practices into play, and I started to see the power of that. And I started to remind myself also of the things that I have been doing for a very long time that also work. That sometimes when we’re like in the thick of it, we forget.
Jessica Miller
[3:55] I don’t know if anyone’s ever had that experience, but I know I do. I’m like, oh yeah, there’s that thing, that thing that I loved or that makes me feel better. And we just forget it when we’re kind of in it treading water. So today, I wanted to share with you some of the things that I do to get unstuck. And some of the things that my dear colleagues and coaches have told me about getting unstuck, and I want to share them with you because I have a hunch when I get these intuitive hits of things that I need to share with my community and share with all of you, it’s usually a lightning bolt telling me that other people need to hear this as well.
Jessica Miller
[4:28] So I want you to take the time to sit and hear and listen to this podcast. Let what rings true with you really seep in and go out and put it into practice. I promise you none of these things will be hard or take a lot of time. And I just want you to know you’re not alone. We’re here, I’m here, and I’m I promise you I’ve probably gone through it or am going through it right now. And so the wonderful thing about being a community is we can all share these best practices, and the best part is you get to take what works and leave the rest. Right? You might take every one of these things that it’s like, oh, Jess, I totally needed to hear this. And I took all of the things that you’re talking about, and I put them into play, and they all work. And sometimes it’s just like one gold nugget that you get, because something intuitively called you to listen to this episode. But what I promise you is that if you are feeling stuck, right now, I promise you that something in here will just create a little bit of space in that stuckness to help sort of a light shine through. Sometimes we need just that tiny little loosening, right, that tiny little wiggle of the tooth, just to start the process moving.
Jessica Miller
[5:39] So here we go. So, I want to share with you some of the things that I have done to get unstuck that have been helping me most recently, and have been something that has helped me, you know, for as long as I, frankly, can remember. Because again, if you want to flourish, if you want to have a big impact, if you want to have the energy, and the momentum, to create the things that you’re meant to create in your business, you need to be able to move out of the stuckness. Not avoid it, not rage against it, but be able to move through it. And that’s what we’re here to talk about today.
Jessica Miller
[6:10] So the first thing that helps me get unstuck, which I have to say in full disclosure, I really sort of rallied against for a very long time, and if I’m being honest, it is not my go to, to like default mechanism when I am stuck. Even to this day, even though intellectually, what I’m about to tell you, and in reality, I have experienced the power of as a Type A person, as someone who likes to be in motion, as someone who is a striver and loves to just go and make things happen. I forget to do this. And it’s one of the most powerful tools in my toolbox.
Jessica Miller
[6:50] So the number one thing that I do to help get unstuck is I get still. I get still. What I mean by that is, I physically get still. So sometimes I will sit down, lay down, you know, pause for a second leaning against the counter, close my eyes, anything to physically be still. That’s the first thing. Even if it’s like, I’m going to get a book, and I’m going to just sit here for a second with this book, I stop moving. I think part of the reason that the physical stillness helps me is because I am a person who’s in a ton of motion, both physically in my life, but also internally. There’s a lot of things going on there. There’s a lot of internal motion. And so the ability to just stay physically still is so crucial for me.
Jessica Miller
[7:45] So one is physically getting still. The second part is getting mentally still. And by mentally still, I mean, either meditating, or just stopping and sitting and just letting my brain rest, like intentionally telling myself, I’m going to take a break. My massage therapist Nick Repoli, who I will link in this podcast, he’s amazing. He’s here in the Boston area. If you don’t know him, you need to check them out. If you’re looking for a massage in the area, you need to check them out. If you own a massage business, you need to check them out. But one of the things that he taught me through the massage that I did with him was he used to tell me, you have to remind yourself to release. So one of the things that I do when I run especially is I shrug my shoulders. So what ends up happening is I am running around all day, and I am sitting at my desk with my shoulders, that they’re always up toward my ears. And what he used to tell me is, you need to give yourself permission to release, to relax. And that always stuck with me, that concept, and I pulled it over into so many other parts of my life.
Jessica Miller
[9:00] So when I’m stuck, and I’m not only physically sitting still, but I am mentally sitting still, I give myself permission. Permission to let go, to release, and just the ability to sit there and let my brain relax, loosen something, something opens up. It is like a breath of fresh air. There is so much freedom in that space. That allows me to just let go of whatever it is that I am holding so tight to that is keeping me stuck in the place that I’m at. It’s almost as if I open up this little like portal and this little path by releasing that allows me to then like move forward or move through it.
Jessica Miller
[9:51] So this first thing of getting still, being still, both physically and mentally, is a, a major step in me getting unstuck. And as I mentioned in the beginning, it’s one of the things I have to most intentionally do. Because when I am stuck or anxious, the default is not to sit still, it’s not to be still, it’s almost the opposite. It’s like, I gotta get out of the stuckness, I have to think my way out of it, I need to, like physically move through this. And so the stillness feels so, like atypical. And so it really, really takes my, you know, all that energy to just remind myself, listen, being still is the answer. Be like, be still, and let that space open up. So the first part is, when you’re feeling stuck, can you embrace the stillness? And if you could, what would that look like for you? Right? Is there a special place you would sit? Would you lay down? Would you pause? Like, what does physical stillness look like for you? Is there a time when you’ve been physically still, that you remember thinking, oh, my gosh, this was amazing? Sometimes it’s very environmental, like if I sit by the pool, or if I, you know, sit in my rocking chair, it evokes this release. So is there a time where you have been still, that really opens that up for you? Maybe it’s sitting in the sauna, or a bath, or something like that? So where can you physically be still? And then how can you mentally be still? Where can you give yourself that permission to release to let go to open that space so you can move through it, right? I want you to think about both of those things. Where can you find that physical stillness? And where can you find that mental stillness?
Jessica Miller
[11:55] The second thing, which is gonna sound literally like the exact opposite of what I just said, and you’re gonna be like, I think Jess is crazy. But hear me out here. The second thing that really helps me get unstuck, is to move my body. Now I know, you’re like, what? You just told me to be still. What do you mean, move your body? Like I said, it’s not like all or nothing, it’s not one thing. And I actually think the combination of the things that I’m telling you is kind of the secret sauce. Like if I just was still all day, that would help me. It would open up right to a wiggle that tooth. But then the movement kind of helps me like, literally move through it. So through my stuckness, one of the things that I discovered was that movement starts to really move this energy and create momentum. And when I’m feeling stuck, sometimes what I end up doing is repeating sort of the same patterns and behaviors and actually physical behaviors. And what I need to do, what I’ve noticed I need to do, is break that repetitive cycle.
Jessica Miller
[13:02] Because if you buy into any of the thought work, or any of the thoughts, create feelings, great actions, if we keep doing the same things, we are going to create the same results. And the stuckness, the mental part of the stuckness, the thoughts and the feelings that are created from your stuckness, or creating that stuckness, or actually compelling you into actions that you are doing repeatedly when you’re in that thought space in that mood and that stuck place. And so in order to kind of buck the system, you have to do something different. And so for me, moving my body has become a really, really key in that. That could look like for me going for a run.
Jessica Miller
[13:47] I actually was a runner for years. And I kind of went in and out of it, but through my you know, kind of young adulthood, 20s, 30s, I was a pretty consistent runner. And I stopped doing that. And then probably about, I don’t know, several months ago, I started doing it really religiously. I got back into it as if my identity was of a runner again. And one of the things I noticed was that, how differently I physically felt. I know this might sound strange to you, listeners, but I want to offer you this. I believe that thoughts do create feelings and do create actions. But I also believe our body is a compass. I learned this from Martha Beck, that your body is a compass that is telling you things. And sometimes I believe that we have the feeling, especially the physical feeling first, that helps bring us to the thought.
Jessica Miller
[14:42] So for any of you who have ever worked out, or run, or did anything physical with your body, there was a certain feeling, state that came when your body was in that condition. And I believe that when your body feels a certain way, it sends a signal to your brain like, oh, this is what I’m supposed to feel like, or this is what the normal me feels like, or the usual me feels like. And so when we are someone who has trained our body, or crafted our body in a certain way, I think especially in the formative years, because I did a lot of this running and training when I was in college. When you go back into that physical space, that movement of your body, and your body starts to feel a certain way, it starts to send the signal to our brain, the thoughts to our brain, that Oh, like, this is who I am. I remember who I am. And this almost feels normal to us. And so, and I noticed this, too, you know, when people work out, if you’re somebody who’s worked out a lot, your body sort of tightens up. The feeling of tightness that even like after you run, or if you’ve ever been sore after you’ve worked out, you have that feeling of soreness, or tightness. It’s almost like your body’s always saying, oh, yeah, like, this is how it’s supposed to feel, you know, when I’m healthy, or when I’ve done the thing that I want to do. It starts to become very, usual, very normal, I can’t think of the exact word that I want to say. But I think you’re tracking with me here. It starts to feel familiar. That’s what I want to say familiar.
Jessica Miller
[16:25] And so when we’re stuck, we’re kind of in this physical place, where we almost feel like we can’t get out, right? We’re kind of being held hostage almost, right? So people use the expression like, I want to crawl out of my skin. It’s like you’re stuck. But when you start to move your body again, it’s almost like you remember what it feels like to not be stuck anymore. And so that feeling of movement, never mind the energetic flow that comes through that. And for me, all the creative energy and juices that come when I am actually moving, that allow me to get like really kind of out of my head and into my body. And that sort of feeling in my body, being present in that moment, being out of my head and getting out of that stuckness allows all of those feelings and emotions to move through. And that physical sensation of my body, and the feeling of being in my body, is so powerful to help just move through the stuckness. It’s especially powerful when I’ve done some sort of inner work, when I’ve done that stillness, and then I kind of go out and either run or walk. And it’s like, I’m just like walking it all out. I’m running it all out. I’m sweating it all out. And it becomes a super powerful combination of the two things.
Jessica Miller
[17:53] So when it comes to moving your body to get unstuck, what kind of things could you do? What do you like to do? What physical things get you out of your head and into your body? It could be doing something like, like I said, running, or working out, or playing a sport, or just even walking, especially walking outside in nature. Maybe it’s getting on your Peloton, maybe it’s sculpting something, maybe it’s painting, like using your hands, it could be a craft like knitting, but something that requires your physical, you know, body to be sort of focused in on that and moving energy through it, while also requiring your brain to be processing and focusing and getting you out of that rut. That usual routine, you know? That usual thought pattern that comes with stuckness. So what kind of movement could you incorporate to help you get unstuck? And again, I want to go back to what I said in the beginning. It does not have to be hard, okay? When your body is stressed and stuck, it doesn’t need you to stress it because your body can’t differentiate between those two things. If you’re in a state of fight or flight and you’re stressed when you go out and stress it even more because you decide to do something really difficult to it. It doesn’t, can’t differentiate like, oh, I’m just lifting really heavy weights. Now, I’m not really stressed. It just thinks you’re stressed; it just adds it onto it. So it doesn’t have to be some colossal thing. It’s just one way. Can you move your body, move things through it, shake things up physically, so that you can give space to the stuckness?
Jessica Miller
[19:38] And then the third thing which I learned from coaching and from talking to so many brilliant minds out there in the coaching world, in the consulting world, in the entrepreneurial world. I learned this through the plethora of certifications that I have. If all of you know me, you know I have coached and certified with so many different people because I think we are multifaceted humans and I love like to look at different situations from all different angles using all different modalities. One of the most powerful things I found that has helped me the most become an impactful coach and impactful consultant, and help people create incredible things, offers, businesses, money, impact, all the things, is asking really powerful questions. And not only is this a skill that has been so crucial for my clients, but I have to tell you, it has totally rocked my own world. Because the more powerful the questions are that you can ask yourself, and most importantly, the more you answer them, the more insights and movement you will create in your life and in your businesses. Some of the most powerful questions that I have learned, especially around stuckness, some of these I’ve been asking myself forever, other ones, people reminding me of them in the last week. But nonetheless, asking your questions, yourself questions. And most importantly, answering them is one of the most powerful things you can do to get yourself unstuck.
Jessica Miller
[21:11] Here’s the thing when it comes to questions, you’re actually asking yourself them all the time. Like what should I do in this situation? Should I do this? Should I do that? What about this thing? Should I go there first? Where do I start today? Constantly asking yourself questions. Because as human beings, we are making decisions all day long. A decision comes after a question, right? What am I going to do when I sit down at my desk? Which client am I talking to first? Do I make the kids you know, peanut butter and jelly or you know, bagels with cream cheese, you know, for lunch? It’s constant. We are constantly asking these questions. And the thing that often happens when it comes to the questions that are keeping us stuck, is that whatever is going on in our brain in these moments, the answers that we are giving to ourselves are one of two things. They are an either-or answer. Either this thing or that thing? I can either do this or that one or the other. Yes, or no? Or the answer, and I would say most often is I don’t know. We are asking ourselves questions. We are trying to move forward, and we are bombarding ourselves with a lie that we don’t know what to do.
Jessica Miller
[22:31] So one of the most absolutely powerful questions that you can ask yourself, especially if you are saying that you don’t know what to do, which I promise you is not true, or you’re giving yourself an either-or kind of an answer, you could ask yourself, what if I knew? What if I knew the answer? When my clients tell me they don’t know, I tell them, that’s not true. You do know. And even if you think you don’t know, what would you say if you did know? And I just wait. And I let the answer come to them. And I asked myself this very same question. What if I knew? Okay, what if I didn’t know? What would I say? And let it come not from your head but from your heart, from your body, from that deep. Knowing part of who you are, and answer the question, what if I knew? Okay, that’s one question that it will blow your mind. It will blow your mind. And it is one of the quickest ways to loosen that grip, to create that forward motion, to get you out of the stuckness.
Jessica Miller
[23:51] Another question that was offered to me this week by an amazing friend and coach, her name is Lia Pinelli, from Lia Pinelli coaching. I will also put her information in the show notes. You need to go check her out if you haven’t. But she said, one of the questions that she asks herself is, what would I love? If you’re presented with a situation if you’re feeling stuck, if you don’t know which way to go, right? You’re in that kind of binary thinking. What if you ask yourself what would I love? Like what would I love to do right now? Like, there’s all these things right there, all the circumstances out there, but what would I love? Oh, my gosh, I just love that question. Like, what would I love to do right now? And you’ll find so many amazing things, again, that come up from this wise, deep part of you.
Jessica Miller
[24:40] And then the other question that you also reminded me of was, is there a third way? So again, when we get into this place where we’re like, I don’t know what to do. I’ve got to do this, aren’t gonna do that, or you just kind of, again, you’re just stuck. Like, is there another way? Is there a third way, right? Is there something else that I’m missing? Right? If nothing mattered, and I could do whatever I wanted, is there another way to look at this? Another way to solve this problem, another way to get me to move forward in this situation? And I have to tell you, just saying those three questions, it’s so freeing. I even feel my own energy right now. Like, oh, so good. So good, right?
Jessica Miller
[25:27] What if there was another way? What would I love to do? Like, what if I knew the answer? Or what if I didn’t need to figure it out anymore? What if I didn’t need to push to get unstuck? What if I just was here, to listen and receive it? Which again, I have to say in full transparency, not my default mechanism. I’m a person who figures things out, I am a creative problem solver, and I love it. I love it. But sometimes we need to dial up other tools when we get stuck in this rut. And these are some of the ways to do that.
Jessica Miller
[26:01] So again, if you’re someone who loves to have a big impact, wants your business to keep growing, wants to stay on your journey that you’re meant to be on as an entrepreneur and continue to do the things that you do, you need to be able to move through these moments where you’re stuck. You need to be able to get unstuck and to know that we all get stuck, and it’s okay. And the great news is, there’s a way through it. And there’s tools and people here to support you and help you.
Jessica Miller
[26:30] So just to recap some of the ways that I have found getting unstuck, the most powerful ways I found to get unstuck, especially most recently, are the following.
Jessica Miller
[26:40] Number one, I get still. I get physically still, and I get mentally still. I try to combine both of those things. And again, as I said earlier, I have to remind myself to do this, because I am a person who perpetually is in motion, both in my environment, but also internally. So being still is not the default mechanism, but it is one of the most powerful tools I have. And it’s one of your most powerful tools as well. So being still both physically and mentally. What do you, what can you do to be physically still? What are you called to, to get still physically? How do you do that mentally? What sort of things do you need to do that pull you into that space to allow you to be still?
Jessica Miller
[27:25] The second thing was moving your body. Yes, I said it is the opposite of being still. But moving your body allows you to process all this information, it pulls you into the present moment, it pulls you into your physical body, which is so powerful, and actually allows you to just work through and I think, pull all of that energy through you to create the movement. The stillness sort of creates the space, and I think the movement kind of moves all that energy through you and allows you to move out of that stuckness physically.
Jessica Miller
[27:58] And then last but not least, it’s asking yourself powerful questions. Here’s the million-dollar secret: good coaching, and good, you know, the things that allow you to move forward and access your wisdom are good questions. It’s powerful questions. And not just asking the powerful question, but actually answering it, there is so much wisdom inside of you. You know what to do. It’s about creating the space and using the tools to access it. So asking yourself powerful questions can open up so much enlightenment and insight to where it is you really want to go to get you out of the stuckness. Some of those really powerful questions that I think are just crucial, and they’re kind of a game changer, they will shock you as to what comes up are: What if I knew the answer? What would I love? And is there a third way of thinking about this?
Jessica Miller
[29:01] And then most importantly, wait for the answers not from your head but from your heart. You know the answer. You just need to give it the space to, space and permission to rise up.
Jessica Miller
[29:12] So I hope that this has given you some tools to put into your toolbox to help you get unstuck as we’re moving forward, you know, into this next timeframe here. It’s a lot of transition. And that transition can sometimes get us feeling stuck. But no, you’re not alone. We all get stuck, and we can all move through it, and these are some ways that I think could help you do that. As always, we would love to hear from you. Let us know, drop us a line. Tell us how this is helping you get unstuck and all the things that you’re creating from this space as you move through this. I promised it is going to blow your mind. Until next week, everyone, have an awesome week.
