Episode 08

Episode 08: Ask Me Anything


What you’ll learn in this episode:

Today’s episode marks several achievements for this podcast.

Not only is this the one-month anniversary of the podcast, but we also made it on to the Top 100 on the US Entrepreneur Podcast Chart, as well as hitting charts in New Zealand and Belgium, and, to top it off, we’ve reached over 800 downloads and gained 50 5-star reviews on Apple Podcasts.

I’m also announcing the official opening of my 10K accelerator program, so sign up for that while there are still places!

Today, I’ll be answering your questions – and there were so many to choose from, so hopefully the ones I chose will answer some of your other questions as well.

Here’s a glance at this episode:

  • When you’re making business decisions and interpreting your data, you need to get really specific. The more specific you get, the better your decisions will be.
  • The data is the data, and you can’t argue with the data.
  • Everyone has a story. if you’re going to make up a story, might as well make it an awesome story.
  • If your business problem feels urgent, you’re probably looking for some sort of big “this is it” moment. If you change how you think, you can solve this problem quickly.
  • If you keep fixating on not having enough time, you’re using up all the time that you think you don’t have. You can produce more time by simply choosing to do different things with your time.

Mentioned in this episode:

Episode 2

Episode 3

10K accelerator program

Subscribe to the podcast

Write to us

Work/Connect with me:

10K Accelerator

Business and Rejuvenation Retreat

Coaching programs

[00:03] Jessica: Well, hello, everyone, and welcome back to the Practical Mindset Podcast. I’m certified coach, Jess Miller, and I’m so excited to have you here.

[00:10] There are so many amazing things going on right now to celebrate. I’m so excited to be here to share them with you. Starting with the fact that today is a special bonus ‘Ask Me Anything’ episode to celebrate one month of launching this podcast. Can you believe it? It’s already been a month. I can’t. Wow, time has totally flown by in the blink of an eye. It’s crazy.

[00:35] I wanted to recap some of the milestones of the podcast since we launched. First, we broke the Top 100 charts on the US Entrepreneur Podcast Chart. In the first week, we hit number 85. We also hit the charts in New Zealand and Belgium, as well. So exciting, and thanks to everyone out there and around the globe who is listening and supporting us. Second, we have close to 50 5-star reviews on Apple Podcasts, which is incredible. We’re so appreciative of all our listeners, and are so grateful for the reviews and the comments people are leaving. It’s such a great way for people who haven’t yet listened to the show to see the social proof that people are loving it and to hear what you all have been experiencing. It also gives us such valuable feedback and a window into what you’re thinking about the podcast so we can continue to make it amazing for you, and even make it better. Third, we are closing in on 800 downloads on our first 6 episodes, which is so exciting, and we’re just literally getting started. So, thanks to everyone who has subscribed or followed us on all the major platforms – on Apple Podcast, Google, Spotify, and all the platforms where people listen to their favorite shows. If you haven’t followed or subscribed, please do so, so you don’t miss any of the new episodes when they drop.

[01:59] Another reason that we’re celebrating today is that we’ve officially opened the doors to the next round of our 10K accelerator program that kicks off on October 6th. As many of you know, the 10K accelerator is my signature program, and we only open the doors four times a year – we open them up once per quarter. It’s for 15 ambitious entrepreneurs who have decided to claim the life and the business they know that they deserve. They want to go all-in on their dreams so they can have it all – their time, their freedom, and a thriving business that makes consistent money, without sacrificing everything important in their life to get it, including their sanity – which, these days, is really easy to do. Six months from now, they will literally be unrecognizable in what they’re creating and how they’re showing up. The doors have been open for now about 48 hours, and already several people have signed up and are getting started.

[02:53] One of my clients in particular dove right in and she’s already signed two clients on one of her biggest packages, which I am so happy for her. We haven’t even had our first call yet, so I’m beyond excited for her and for everyone that’s going to be part of it, and all that is headed their way. I could go on and talk about this, but more on that later. Of course, you can check the link in the show notes to learn more about it if you’re interested.

[03:19] Most importantly, I am celebrating hearing from all of you, and being able to come on here today and offer some coaching, which is one of my favorite things to do, and to share the questions that you’ve been asking that are most important to you and top of mind. Last week, I opened the doors for you to send in any questions that you had about business, life, really basically anything. And you did. We got so many questions that came in, so my team and I – we worked through them, and we picked several of them that represented the consistent themes that we were seeing so that we can answer them for you right now on the show.

[03:55] Here’s what I want to say about these questions: even if yours is not one of the questions that got picked, make sure you listen in, because you learn so much from other people’s questions that are relevant to you, and often we all have the same questions. You really hear a piece of yourself in the question and the coaching, and it is so powerful. This is one of the reasons why I started a group mastermind coaching program, because I realized that the community and the coaching, and even the ability to coach each other and listen, was so powerful. Take a listen to what people are asking and to the coaching. Okay, so let’s jump right in and get coaching.

[04:39] Our first question came from Anna. Anna says, “hi, Jessica. I started a business several months ago, which I have invested a lot of money in, and some people have joined, but not a lot, and I feel horrible, and I’m having a lot of trouble believing that it’s going to work. I wanted to continue to invest in my business and myself with a program like yours perhaps, but I’m stuck in this loop about my money and spending too much/having enough coming in. Anna.”

[05:07] Oh, Anna. Okay, so first off, I just want to say that we have all been there. I see you; I have been you; I guarantee many of the people that are listening to this call can completely relate to this, especially if you’re new in business, which you mentioned in your question that you started a business several months ago. We’ve all been there and we see this, so you are not alone, and there’s nothing wrong with you for being in this place. In a sense, you’re right where you’re supposed to be. I want to start by saying, one of the most important things when we think about our business is to talk about the specifics around our business, and not talk in these general terms. We want to make business decisions from the data in our business and not from generalized feelings or emotions. When I worked in corporate America, a friend of mine used to always tell me, “Jess, the data is the data, and you can’t argue with the data”, and he was totally right. Your data is literally telling you something about your business. It is guiding you. You want to figure out what is it saying? So, you want to get really specific about your data. So, instead of saying broad things like “a lot of money” or “some people joined, not a lot.” You want to get specific and you want to ask questions like, “what is a lot of money? What is the date? How much money? Where exactly is your money going, and how much? How many people have joined your program or joined your business, and in what timeframe has that happened? How much did you invest specifically?” You need specific data points. We can make good decisions about our business from specific data. Even the universe likes specifics, they don’t like vague things. So, you want to first get in the habit of getting specific about your data, and getting specific about the data in your business.

[07:08] Second is, what is your story around this? Everyone has a story. Our brains, especially the primitive brains that we have, they love to tell stories, and the stories it tells us is from a place of keeping us “safe” It’s essentially telling us that everything we choose to do that might be unknown or scary, or unfamiliar, is dangerous and we should never go there – just stay in the cave, like “nobody move, don’t breathe.” So, the reason that you feel horrible right now is not because of what is going on in your business. It’s because of what you’re telling yourself about what is going on in your business. It is the story that you are creating around your business. So, there’s the data – the data is the data, and then there’s the story. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that your story of spending too much money right now is what is actually causing you to feel horrible. It’s not what’s actually happening in your business. It’s not the amount of money you’re spending, it’s the story around that. If there are other thoughts in there – again, I’m just guessing because you wrote this in so I don’t have you here in front of me talking to me, but if there are other thoughts in there like “this shouldn’t be happening” or “more people should be joining my program” or “there’s a problem here, like Houston, we have a problem.” Those are also contributing to your feelings of it being horrible.

[08:40] So, first you need to go and mine for the data. What are the specifics? What’s going on? For instance, I spent an X amount of money in Y timeframe, or I signed 4 clients in the last 2 months, or I sold 10 programs in 2021. What is the data? Then, you need to decide what you want your story to be. You get to think whatever you want, and the truth is that our “truth” is just what we know. There is no “truth” in the story – there’s the data and then there’s our story. If you’re going to make up a story, make it a good one. Make it one that serves you and what you want to create. So, what do you want to tell yourself about, for instance, the $2,000 you spent in your business, or the 4 clients that you signed, or the 5 or 10 programs you sold in 2021? Watch your mouth here. If you were nurturing your business like you were nurturing a baby, how would you treat it? We really are nurturing a business. What would you say to this business? What would you say to your baby that you are nurturing? You mentioned you just started your business recently, so how would you treat your 6-month-old baby, for instance, that wasn’t potty trained already? Would you chastise your baby? Frankly, would you chastise yourself for what was going on? Would you even think it was a problem? Really think about it. Once you nail down the story, and you decide how you want to show up, then you work through the data you found from that head space, from that place. If you didn’t think there was a problem, if you had a story about your money and your clients that was in service to building the business that you wanted, for instance, like “this is what’s supposed to be happening or this is all part of the plan”, what would you think about the data you’re seeing? More than likely, you would be curious and open-minded. You’d really look to see what were the trends and what is it telling you, and then you would decide what to do about it – then you would decide how to tweak it. If you’re in the wrong headspace, if you’re not in this place where you’re curious and in service of what you want to create, you will likely miss the finer points and the details in the data that are going to point you in the direction that you need to go and show you where to focus.

[11:23] Also on the subject of problems, I want to add that you need to really watch the urgency that you’re creating around things in your business. Often, we create this sense of urgency, like we want things to happen right now, or there’s a problem because we think we’re going to arrive at this magical feeling once we get the thing that we think we want, like the feelings that we have right now will be totally different once “it happens”, once we get there. But the truth is, you can create that feeling this minute by choosing what you want to think about what’s going on in your business. You need to figure out what you’d be thinking about your result in the future when it “happens”, when you have this result, and you need to start thinking it now. You essentially need to become this future person that thinks and feels a certain way in the future – today. That comes from what you think about yourself. It comes from the story that you’re telling yourself about you, and what you believe about yourself and your offers. You have to believe harder in yourself than anyone else believes in you in this moment – not what your clients believe, not what your spouse believes, not what your dog is believing. What you believe. This is really the linchpin. This is for everybody listening to this. This is one of the topics we focus on the most in my programs. It’s on the mindset piece – quite literally what is going on in your mind about you. It is because it is one of the most important pieces, because all of your results start in your brain with the thoughts that you are choosing to think. In this case, it’s the thoughts you are thinking about yourself.

[13:20] Most of us are running around, doing and buying all of the things to fix the problem, but the problem is we don’t fix our thoughts about us – if we don’t do that, we get the results we didn’t expect, and we keep on thinking it’s because of this thing outside of us, this shiny object that we went to go buy, and that causes us to decide to go out and get another new shiny object. Then, when it gets hard again, we’re still in the same thought and the vicious cycle continues. You have to clean up your thinking first.

[14:00] I want to share with you a story of a client I had that started a business, and she was getting results and signing clients, and all the while she was telling herself that it wasn’t working – it wasn’t working, and it should be happening faster. As a result, do you want to know what she spent the majority of her money on? She spent it on buying the next shiny object that she could find that was going to fix her problem. What did she totally miss? All of the data coming from her business about what was working, and essentially the exact things that she needed to invest more in to actually move the needle in her business. You want to know why it wasn’t working, her thought “it wasn’t working” or “why it’s not working”? Because she was essentially spending money on things that were totally irrelevant to creating clients and conversion in her business. From a different thought, like “this is all part of the journey” or “I’m going to learn exactly how to make this program stronger and more valuable as I go along”, that sort of headspace, she would be spending her money and time in a very, very different way. So, in summary, Anna, you need to double down on your belief in yourself. You need to sell yourself the story that is in service to where you want to go. If you want to continue building your business and helping your clients, and investing in yourself and your business, what do you need to think about the data, specifically the data that you are collecting in your business to help you get there? That includes investing in a coach or any program. Investing from a place of scarcity, like the program is going to fix you or fix your problem, is not the way to invest. I believe there’s no external fix. You could have the best solution and the best answer, and if you don’t master the internal game to be able to accept it, it won’t matter what you have in your hands, it won’t matter what is outside of you. When you give your power to something that is outside of you, the minute it gets hard, you’re going to let your brain tell you that it’s not the right fit, or you’re different, or you’re a special snowflake, or this isn’t working for you, or all the things instead of believing that you have got what it takes and that you can create any result you want, and continue to go for it and get creative and curious about what is next. Once you learn the skills to master your mind and choose your thoughts, you can make anything happen under any circumstance. That is why I focus so much on the thought work in my accelerator program, because that thought work married with a clean plan really shows you that your brain, and you, are truly your biggest assets, especially once you work with someone to guide you to learn how to use it in the most powerful way. So, Anna, I hope that helps you, and I can’t wait to hear about your business, your money, and your results going forward when you shift your mind around this. Also, check out Episode 3, Making More Money, where I talk about these ideas in more detail.

[17:17] The next question we have is from Stacy. Stacy says, “dear Jessica. How do you handle having enough time to work your business and have a life? I love what I do and I love my family and spending time with them, but there never seems to be enough hours in the day. There are many things I would love to do for me and my work, but I can’t fathom adding one more thing to the plate or purchasing another training that I don’t take out of the box. I keep thinking that some day I’ll have the time, but someday never seems to come. Thoughts? Stacy.”

[17:50] So, Stacy, I want to say that this topic is, one of time, is one of the number one things that comes up for my clients. To be transparent, it’s one of the number one things that I struggle with as well. Some days, I still struggle with it. We walk around with so many thoughts about our time, and we often act as if it’s the thing that we need to get over or work through, or overcome in order to get what we want. But the truth is our time is not linear, and it’s not a rigid thing. It’s something that I believe is there for us to use and leverage to get whatever we want. It really is the thing that is actually there to help us have the business we want and have the family we want. But the thing that determines how we use it, what we spend it on, and how we manipulate it, is what we think about it. There are so many things that talk about time, so many different laws and things that people have studied that talk about things taking time based on how we think about it. Often, I hear people talk about it from a place of scarcity and from the headspace that we don’t have enough of it – that there is a feeling of struggling that is associated with it. You can even feel it when you say “there never seems to be enough time.” Do you feel it? It feels so heavy and limiting, like it’s constricting and holding us back. Often, when we come from this thought of there never being enough time, and having this feeling of being held back and constricted, we spend a lot of time thinking about our time, and buffering around our time that we “don’t have”. So, what we end up doing is, we end up taking the time we have and spending it on things that make us feel better in the short term, like scrolling on Netflix or going on the internet, or doing something to relieve this tension, but overall, in the long-term, they don’t produce the things we actually want. For instance, if we think we don’t have time and we’re never going to be able complete our work, for instance, we might end up surfing the web or procrastinating, or distracting ourselves – for me, it’s getting up and getting a snack and seeing what my kids are doing, in a way that results in us spending the time doing things that are not helping us complete our work, and then we have to take the time, for instance, in the evening away from our family, to get done what we would’ve gotten done before if we weren’t in this headspace of procrastination and distraction, etc.

[20:33] So, Stacy, my first question to you, and to everyone listening to this, is: how do you show up when you think there is never enough time? What do you spend your time doing? Literally, practically, I want you to become a sleuth in your own life. When you think there’s never enough time, what do you do? Maybe, equally, if not more important, what do you spend you time not doing? What doesn’t get done? How do you not show up? It sounds like one of the things that you might be spending your time doing is looking for things to help buy you more time. Maybe in the form of a training or program that is like the silver bullet. Stacy, for you, it sounds like from that place you purchased a lot of things that are not creating more time for you. That’s because things don’t produce more time. What produces more time is what you choose to do with your time. You don’t find time or buy time – you create it. You create more time by the way you think about it. You can choose to tell yourself about how rigid it is, or you can think of it as something that’s working for you and think of it from a place of what’s possible for your time – what’s possible with your time.

[21:55] In Episode 2 of this podcast, I talk about the concept of bending time – that if you want to create success, you really need to learn how to bend time. It’s the idea that time is not linear and rigid, but something that we can leverage and bend to help us create everything that we want – that, instead of it being a thing that we need to overcome or that it’s an obstacle in the way of success, it’s actually the thing that’s there to help us all with getting the results that we want.

[22:25] I want to share with you all that there was a time in my business, especially when I first started my business, that I would be racing the clock – always. I would know when my nanny was leaving or my husband would be home, and I would start to panic. I don’t know if anyone’s ever had that experience – you see the clock and you’re like “10 more minutes, 5 more minutes.” I would spend so much time thinking that there wasn’t enough time, that there was something wrong with me, that everyone else was getting it and they were creating all these awesome things, but I couldn’t crack the code. I would reinvent the wheel from this place over and over, thinking that I needed to figure it out, and I needed to buy something newer, create some new thing, like there was this shiny object that I hadn’t discovered, and I would be trying to get all the things that were going to help me – basically, get through this scarcity of time. I will never forget the day that I was on a call with my coach, and she offered for me to just try on a thought, and I want to offer these thoughts for you to just try on. I want to say, you don’t have to believe me. You don’t have to believe me. You could be sitting here thinking, “time is time, this is what it is, I hear what you’re saying, Jess, and this is what I think.” I’m not suggesting that you believe me. I’m just saying, what about if you just tried this on? What if you just let your brain think, “what if this was possible?” The thoughts that she offered me were this: she said, “what if I had everything I needed right now to create everything that I wanted? What if I didn’t need any more time to create the results I wanted?” Over time, I turned this into the thought, I turned this thought around to, “what if I was no longer available to think the thought that I don’t have enough time anymore?” Like that thought just didn’t exist. Have you ever thought who you would be without your most pervasive thoughts? And, in this case, if you were no longer able to think that you didn’t have enough time – like it just didn’t exist. From that place so many years ago. I remember sitting there on the Zoom call with my coach and her saying this to me, and I felt like my brain just shifted. It clicked in this minute. From there, my whole world opened up. I started to get creative in a way that I never imagined. I started leveraging the things I had created and the things I did know to offer my clients. I thought about those and how could I create more value, and I actually stopped doing so many things that were taking so much of my time, that weren’t serving me or weren’t getting me closer to the success or the money that I wanted. I actually got more focused, and yet I expanded mentally and energetically in such a huge way. I ended up creating and saving so much time.

[25:53] Managing time is a learned skill. It is an inside game, and it’s one that I focus on so much in my coaching programs, because the people that I coach are driven and they’re built for success, and they want it, they love being in motion, they want to create things, they want to have a rich and full life – they want to have it all. So, there’s always a lot going on for them and time comes up a lot. We focus on how this shows up in your identity, who you think you are as a time-bender, what you think is possible with your time, and what you do with it – what you are actually choosing to do with it from these thoughts. Now, I’m not suggesting that there aren’t systems out there that can help you work through your time and physically manage it differently, because there are, and we talk a lot about those in my programs too – I subscribe to many of them and I think that they’re phenomenal. What really moves the needle with your time is what you think about your time, what you think about leveraging it, and how much of it you think is available to you, and what you have to do with it. I say ‘have’ in a very deliberate way – what do you think you have to spend your time on versus what you get to spend your time on? Once you learn the inner game of time management, you can learn it for your business, for your personal life, and all parts of your life – it spills over into all different parts of your life. Even the moments where you might think you’re pressed for time or racing the clock, like when you have to catch a plane or something like that, you can move through it in a way that feels amazing and helps you produce the results you want, and not from a place of scarcity.

[27:41] So, Stacy, take a listen to Episode 2. Try on some of these thoughts. Let us know what is coming up for you around your time. You can absolutely learn the skill to become a time-bender, and have it all in your business and your personal life, on your terms.

[27:57] For all of you, we love to hear from you and to know what is coming up for you, so drop your questions or your thoughts in an email, and send it to us at support@jessicamillercoaching.com. For those of you who are listening to this, and you are struggling with things such as time or money, or building your business, or you want to take your business to the next level and have consistent 10K months that feel amazing and allow you to have your all in your life, your time and your freedom, and your money, and the business you want, I encourage you to check out the 10K accelerator. The link is in the show notes, so you can get all the information there. Or, if you’re curious about the program, and you just want to see if it’s the right fit for you, book a free call with me and let’s chat. It is a win-win. Either you are going to walk away from the call ready to jump in and get started, and there are all sorts of things take advantage of early bird specials even before we get on our first official call, or you’ll know the next best step for you to get what you need to keep up the momentum in your business and keep moving forward.

Thanks, everyone, and see you next week.