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What you’ll learn in this episode:
What if your next level of growth isn’t hiding in something new… but in what you’re willing to stop doing?
In this episode, I’m breaking down one of the most overlooked (and most powerful) levers in your business: what you say no to.
Because most entrepreneurs aren’t stuck because they’re not doing enough. They’re stuck because they’re doing too many things that don’t actually move the needle.
And the truth is… the hardest part isn’t knowing what to do.
It’s having the discipline to stop doing everything else.
I’m sharing a real behind-the-scenes decision I made this week around a women’s business group, and how it forced me to get honest about alignment, growth, and what it actually takes to move to the next level.
If you’ve ever felt busy but not truly moving forward… this episode is going to hit.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- Why success is more about elimination than addition
- The 5-part framework that actually drives sustainable growth
- Where high-achieving entrepreneurs get stuck (and it’s not where you think)
- How “good” opportunities are quietly holding you back
- The real reason your current results are a reflection of what you’ve been saying yes to
Mentioned in this episode:
Worksheet: The Growth Filter: What to Say No To
Nathan Barry Podcast: How To Uncover $100K In Hidden Profit with Jessica Miller
Work/Connect with me:
Jessica Miller (00:01.326) Hello and welcome back to the It’s Your Offer podcast. I want to start today with something that’s been sitting with me all week. And honestly, it’s one of the things that I think is super simple, but it might be one of the most important levers in your entire business that we often overlook. And it’s this: success is not built on what you say yes to. It’s actually built on what you say no to. Now, I had a moment this week where this really hit me and it kind of hit me in a different way.
I was supposed to go to a women’s business group and these were incredible people, like truly great human beings, smart, driven, you know, business builders, all of those things. And on paper, there were a lot of reasons to go. I had committed to this, I liked the people, it would have been easy to justify being in the room, I’ve gone several times. But if I’m being really honest, I knew it wasn’t the right room for where
I’m headed and where I’m going next. And what’s interesting is this wasn’t like a super dramatic decision. I wasn’t sitting there thinking like, oh my gosh, this is so hard. You know, I don’t know how to make this choice. It was much more subtle than that. It was like, I could feel that going would be comfortable. It would be easy. It’s familiar. It’s even like enjoyable, but it wasn’t aligned.
And at the same time, I’ve been dealing with an overcommitted calendar, travel, not feeling great. And it almost gave me an easy out, like, I’ll just not go because of that. But the truth is, that wasn’t the real reason. That wasn’t really it. The real reason was that going didn’t support where I’m actually headed. And that’s when it really hit me. Most people don’t struggle because they don’t know what to do.
They struggle because they won’t stop doing the things that don’t matter. They’re not willing to stop — like that 80% that we’re focusing our time on. So today I want to break this down for you because if you can master this, if you can get really honest about what needs to go, about what you are no longer available for, that’s where your next level of growth actually lives. And it is a huge leverage point in your business.
Jessica Miller (02:25.026) So as I mentioned, this is where most entrepreneurs struggle. And I want to be clear and say that most entrepreneurs are not struggling because they’re doing nothing. This isn’t a trade-off between, you know, I’m going to do something or I’m going to do nothing. They’re struggling because they’re doing too many things that don’t matter. They’re spending the time on the stuff they shouldn’t be spending it on. This isn’t a trade-off of, I’m going to go
to this networking event, or I’m gonna sit by the pool and eat bonbons and watch Netflix all day. And in my mind, I can kind of rationalize this idea that, well, okay, I didn’t do the thing that I need to do, but I had a really awesome day and it was amazing, relaxing and just checking out. It’s busy, productive-looking things that don’t move the needle that we are actually focusing on. So.
You’re not stuck and most entrepreneurs are not stuck because they’re lazy. They’re stuck because they’ve over-allocated to the wrong things. And this is super sneaky. It’s super under the surface. It kind of smacks you in the face when you see it, but often we are not seeing it. And the not seeing it and the doing all the things and the feeling productive, even though we are not producing anything in service of the goals.
and the places we wanna go, is what is killing us. It is killing our success, it’s killing our energy, and it’s killing our ability to get closer to what we want. Because really what we’re doing is we’re running in place and we are stuck. So I wanna break this down because I think success is really a five-part framework in my mind. And each one of these pieces is important and I wanna talk about them. And I wanna dig into and under what I’m talking about here, as really
this is like the kerosene. This is the thing that I think sets the great successful business owner apart from the person who is crushing it, who is thriving, who is in the momentum, who is seeing the results. It’s the difference between good and great. Okay, and here’s the five-part success framework that I think it all boils down to based on my own experience and the work that I do with clients. So number one, you need to have a plan. You need to have a plan.
Jessica Miller (04:47.724) You need to think about what do I wanna create? What are my goals? What do I actually want? And what is the plan to get me there? If you’ve been listening to this podcast, you have heard this many times. We like to work in 90-day years over here in my corner of the universe because it is long enough, measurable enough, but close enough that you can actually have real impact with it and you can make some serious headway with it.
These plans are not only like what do I wanna do, which is super important and where do I wanna go, also super important, but it is detailed around not only what is it going to take to get me there, but what are the most important non-negotiable things that I need to be doing in the next 90 days that are linked to the results I want. This is a blueprint of your 20%. That is what the 90-day plans that we create look like.
They are simple. They are on point. They are focused. They are clear. And they are powerful. Okay. That’s the kind of plan I’m talking about. So you need a plan. It needs to be in front of you. The second part of this is you need data. You cannot create what you don’t measure. And I know this is super boring and people have an allergic reaction to the word data and numbers and all of that. But you need to know
what is actually required to get me here? What are the brass tacks? In that data, in what is actually happening, in the non-emotional data, are your opportunities. It allows you to find where are the opportunities hiding in your current business. What is happening right now in conjunction with where I wanna go with my plan?
That’s giving me insight into what to keep doing, what to do differently, or what to stop doing. Okay? Where is the leverage? You find the leverage for the plan and the results and the success by the data. And here is the beautiful thing about this. There is so much money and opportunity and leverage that is hiding in your business when you look at the data. And there is a way to uncover that in a simple, highly
Jessica Miller (07:12.686) powerful way when you understand where it is, what it looks like, when that data uncovers it, and then you can plan against it. If you are listening to this episode and you have not listened to the episode that I did with Nathan Barry, you need to check it out. I will link it in the show notes. It is a business masterclass with an exact playbook on how to uncover at minimum $100,000 in your business right now.
And we walk through every single piece of this in that episode. After you listen to this episode, you need to go listen to that episode and we will link it in the show notes. But you need to understand what actually drives the revenue and the growth in your business, where those leverage points are, so that you can actually work easier and more simply and more efficiently to get the things that you want. And the data removes all the emotion from decision-making and it makes it so much
faster to move forward. Okay, so that’s number two, the data. Number three is the decision and the focus. It’s the moment that you decide you are going to follow the plan and you are going to stay focused on that plan as you move forward. I don’t know if you’ve had the experience, but I definitely have. I’ve worked with a lot of people who have, where they’re like, yeah, we’re gonna do this and they’re saying it, but they’re not really serious.
And then something happens, they hit that point and we’ve all seen it in our own lives. I’ve seen it when I’m trying to lose 10 pounds. I see it when I need to bring in cash. I see it when I get serious about a goal I want, where you have that moment where you’re like, I was serious, but now I am really serious. It is a moment in time where you commit and then you focus. And these are really, really important things because in that moment,
a bunch of things shift. Number one, your identity as the person who has actually chosen the plan and chosen the identity of the person who goes and follows this plan and goes after those goals for real — it shifts. Okay, that’s the first thing. You step into the next version of yourself that’s going to make this happen. Because here’s something people don’t talk about a lot. Every decision you have made, everything you have chosen,
Jessica Miller (09:36.0) everything you have done up to this point in your life — this moment — has created your current reality. If you wanna know how you got here and how you’re staying here, take an inventory of all the things that you have chosen to do. All the thoughts you have had, all the choices you have made, all of the actions you took or didn’t take, they all have added up to your results today. In order to create the results you want, the future version of yourself,
you have to have a different identity. You need to decide to do different things. And then you need to focus on that thing, on that plan and the data that is connected to it in order to make it happen and not get pulled off course. Okay? So this third piece of the framework is deciding and focusing and staying the course with this thing. The fourth thing is taking action. Here’s the good and the bad news.
You get paid, the market responds, for what you produce. It’s not what you think about, it’s not the vision that you’ve seen and it’s living in your head. It’s not your next million-dollar idea. It is the thing that has been translated into something that you’ve produced through action, okay? In this step of the framework, you start executing, you produce something, you move forward in action.
Okay, this is where the rubber hits the road as far as putting something out into the world. Success is built off of production. Yes, it is built off of vision. Yes, it is built off of your great ideas. But if you don’t actually make those things a reality and have a plan that is measurable, that you have chosen, and then you go do the damn thing, if you don’t do that, it doesn’t happen. People can’t pay you for something they don’t have access to.
So the action is really, really important, right? The plan, the data to measure it, the focus and the decision to become it and do it, and then the doing it, okay? And then there is number five, the no. I call this the no step. And this is the real lever. And this is where most people break, okay? This is the part of the framework where distractions show up, old habits creep in,
Jessica Miller (11:59.566) “good” quote unquote opportunities derail the great ones. It is in this step where you choose what you are going to say no to. You decide and choose that you are no longer available for the things that are not in line with your goal, that are not on your plan, that are not bringing you closer to the future version of yourself that you want. It is the moments where you get uncomfortable, where it is easier to do the stuff that you
have been doing. It’s easier to stay embedded. All those things, right? This is the moment. And that no — that lever of saying no and setting your boundaries — is crucial because this is where things really go off the rails and where we can get tricked into thinking that we’re actually going toward what we want, but we’re not. We are standing and spinning in place.
So I wanna talk about a couple of what I affectionately call the false yeses, the places where we get tripped up as entrepreneurs. And as I mentioned, the people listening to this podcast, where this is resonating with you, you’re not sitting around doing nothing. You’re doing all the things, but we are saying yes in a way that isn’t helping us. We are saying yes to the things that are not really the yeses in our business.
And here’s what they look like. They can look like networking events that feel productive, but aren’t aligned anymore, right? It’s the place where your ideal customer isn’t in the room, where the people that you’re talking to are not really connected to those people. It’s a nice-to-have, but not a need-to-have. It shows up in places like opportunities that used to serve you, but don’t anymore. Maybe you’re teaching in a group you shouldn’t be teaching in anymore.
Maybe you’re running a program that you shouldn’t be running anymore. Maybe you’re getting on the call with the accountability group you put together, and these people are not headed where you’re headed. They’re awesome, but they’re not headed there. It looks like rooms that are comfortable but not expansive. That accountability group is a good example of that. But it could look like a membership you’re part of. It could look like a mastermind that you’re part of.
Jessica Miller (14:23.47) It could look like a business group that you’re part of. These rooms are great, but they’re not going to push you to the next level. It could also look like tasks that are easier than the ones that really matter. Like, if I asked you point blank, what are the two things that are gonna move your business forward the most right now that you need to be doing? I’m pretty sure you know exactly what those are. And I’m pretty sure if you’re not doing them, there’s friction around them, and you’re actually spending time doing the things that are just easier that you’re used to.
Most of what derails our success is not urgent. It is familiar. It is not, you know, the ER trip you have to take. It’s not your kid is in trouble and you need to pick them up at school. It’s the stuff we choose over and over that drains us of our time, including like scrolling aimlessly on social media or doing all the random things in the morning before you sit down at your desk that are not really going to, you know,
create the income that you want. Okay, so let me give you some tangible examples of what this looks like. So as I mentioned, for me, I was part of the women’s group. That decision to not go to that event was actually really important. And I’ve been feeling out of alignment in that room for a while. It was something that I knew I had outgrown. I’ve been hearing like, this is not
the environment for my next level. But there is emotional tension in those decisions. And it took me many months to actually finally bless and release, right? There was the tension of I committed to this. There was the tension of people are counting on me. There’s FOMO around it. Like people are gonna be having fun and they’re gonna be succeeding and I’m not gonna be there. There’s an identity of being part of this, right? This is sort of like a tribe. And I wanted to be
you know, part of that on some level, right? So, and I have an identity as being part of that group. So, the tension is there and it’s real, but the difference between liking people versus needing to be in that room is really important. And you can still like someone and still love people and choose to not be in that place. Say no to those things, because they’re not getting you where you want to go. You know, just because it’s a good room, just because they’re great people, doesn’t mean it’s the right room.
Jessica Miller (16:45.88) for you and most importantly, it doesn’t mean it’s the right room for your future self and your success and your goals in the long term. We are often choosing short-term comfort and gain over long-term gain. And that’s where we get stuck, okay? I’ve seen this also with my clients. I’ll give you an example of a coach that I work with.
I have a client who does tons of content, tons of networking. They’re always out there. They’re like turning over every rock, you know, all of the things. And it sounds great, right? We’re always told like visibility, go do the thing, go talk to the people, right? But the real growth lever was not out there, you know, creating content, doing all the networking, doing all of those things. It was actually in reining that time in and refining where she was spending her time, what she was working on, what
offer she was pulling forward. And so she had to actually say no to this sort of like rampant, frantic visibility, which I think we’re all more guilty of this than we think. We get on those Zoom calls, we go to these networking events, you know, it sounds good. Suzy’s going, so I’m going to go — like all of that. She had to say no to that frantic visibility and the content creation churn, like all of that.
and say yes to conversion, yes to the things that actually were going to be closest to producing income for her, like where her real leverage was, okay? That is an example. I have brick-and-mortar clients, same thing. Owners are attending events, they’re trying new promotions, they’re out there doing all these things. Experiential places, brick and mortar, this is really — I see this a lot — where there’s this idea that more is more valuable.
Like if I have more events, more promos, more offers on my page, all of those things, I’m gonna be more successful, I’m gonna make more money. People are gonna want this. But the real lever, the real opportunity in the know here for these businesses is actually optimizing the existing client base. And I’ve seen this with my MedSpa clients, I’ve seen this with my brick-and-mortar clients like Fair Trade Goods. They have an amazing network, an amazing opportunity, an amazing client base.
Jessica Miller (19:09.506) And the real lever is in that — saying yes to those people, optimizing them for the experience. And then no to all these new ideas. We’re not adding more things. We’re not creating a million more work streams. We’re just dialing in. So it’s like, it’s no to new ideas, starting from scratch, blowing things up, redoing it. And yes to a deeper monetization strategy that comes from optimizing and focusing. It comes from
knowing and seeing what that growth lever is that’s connected to the goal you want and then refining that. And by the way, so much easier, so much faster. High achievers are in these patterns all the time, right? They’re doing 10 quote-unquote good things, but none of them are tied to a singular growth plan or a singular outcome. And again, it’s a false yes. It feels like we’re going, we’re doing all the things, but we’re actually not making any traction, right? It’s like
trying to move your car on a slippery surface where you’ve got no real tread versus like, I’m gonna slow down, I’m gonna make sure I’ve got the right tread for the right terrain and I’m going to move. And even if you are going slightly slower in the beginning, you gain the momentum and you actually make forward motion. That’s how you get out of like a ditch, right? So it is true in real life too. So again,
you know, emergencies don’t derail your business. Misalignment does. It is not your kid, like I said, going to the ER that derails your plan. It’s the networking event you knew you shouldn’t go to. It’s the room you’ve outgrown with the people who aren’t going to get you to your next level or the ideal clients that are not hanging out in that room, right? That is what it’s really about. So I want to dig into this with all of you. In the show notes, there is a link for a downloadable. It’s called the Growth Filter —
what you say no to. And I want you to pause this, go download it. Or if you’re walking somewhere, you’re doing your thing, just listen and then jot these things down. Get that download and then do it when you get home. But here’s what I want you to dig into. This exercise is going to uncover where the leak is. Where you’re either not clear, don’t have a plan on point, or you’re saying yes to the false yeses.
Jessica Miller (21:35.304) If you dial this in, first of all, I’m gonna say side note, it is going to blow your darn mind because when you see this, you’re like, oh my gosh, there it is. Like it is in plain sight, it is hiding and we often overlook it. It will absolutely blow your mind. And if you tweak these things, the amount of energy that you are transferring to the things that actually move your business forward is going to be so significant.
You’re going to be like, I can’t believe it. This exercise will take you five minutes and it is worth it. Okay. So here it is. This is what I want you to be asking yourself and looking for. Number one, what is your current plan? Do you have a clear plan about what you want and how to get there? 90-day plan. What is your next best opportunity? What exactly do you need to do to get there? That is number one. Write down the answer. Yes or no.
If the answer is yes, fill in that blank about what is it. Crystal clear. I want this thing. These are the three things that I need to do to get there. And there shouldn’t be more than two or three. And you should be crystal clear on what those results are. Put that in the blank. Okay. Number two. What are the two to three things that actually move the needle? Do you have the data to understand what is working and what is not working and how to leverage it? You will be able to answer the question
of what is actually moving the needle — and the operative word here is “actually” — if you have looked at the data and understand where your money is coming from, where your growth is coming from, okay? Do you have that? If the answer is no, I want you to put a date in that box as to when you are going to go and mine this data. And here’s a million-dollar tip: make it ASAP. So we’re talking end of the week, okay? Get it done.
It’s not that hard. You got to do it. Number three, what things are you spending most of your time on? This is a clincher. Like what things are you taking action on? Right? Where is all this time and energy going? What are you doing all day? Because what you are doing is determining the results you get because action creates results. So what is — what’s happening there? And then connected right, nestled up underneath that is what are you saying yes to that is not on the plan?
Jessica Miller (24:04.482) Right? So this is your hard no list. These are the things in your response above that you’re spending time on, but you shouldn’t be. They’re the things that look productive. They seem like they make sense, but if we were to get down to brass tacks here, they’re not. They’re not the things you should be doing. Okay? So I want you to ask yourself, like, does this directly support my plan? When you’re looking at that list, right? Here’s what I’m doing. Here’s all the things
that I’m doing in conjunction with this plan, and here’s the data showing that — does this directly support my plan? Does it support my goals? Does it support the person I wanna become? Is this in service to my future or my past self? Is this in service to the future that I want? Or am I just recreating more of what is getting me here? Now, I wanna also pause and say, you are amazing for where you are right now. You have done a ton of hard work to get here.
You have had success, you’ve got results, you are a rock star. What we wanna do is utilize that to get you to the next level. And the way that you do that is through these five things that I’m talking about and through this worksheet. You start to uncover where am I being inefficient? Where are the leaks? Where is this not working? And that is how you cast a vote for your future self and you course correct. Now,
we’re not saying blow your business up. We’re not saying start seven more things. We’re not saying any of that. We’re saying the things that you want, the fastest way to get there is to stop doing the stuff that isn’t in service to that and do the things that are. And those things that you should be doing more of are already in your business. You have to uncover them, leverage them, choose them and do them and say no to everything else. Okay. So fill that out and get clarity on
what this hard no list is because that really is the clincher. Like I said, for the people listening to this, you’re doing the things. You’re not sitting by the pool eating bonbons. You’re doing the stuff. But the question is, are you doing the stuff you need to be doing? Are you saying no to the things you need to say no to, to say yes to your success? So if you take nothing else from this episode, I want you to take this. Your next level is not hidden in something new.
Jessica Miller (26:27.2) It’s hidden in what you’re willing to stop doing. I’m gonna repeat that. Your next level is not hidden in something new. It’s hidden in what you are willing to stop doing. You don’t need more ideas. You don’t need more strategies. You don’t need to add more to your plate. What you need is the discipline to look at what you’re currently saying yes to and ask yourself if it actually supports where you’re going.
Because most of the time, the things that are holding us back are not obvious. They’re the things that feel productive. They’re the things that we’ve always done. They’re the things that feel easy to justify, that we always choose. But they’re not the things that are going to get you to your next level. And that’s the work. That is the real work. So I want you to take a few minutes after this episode and actually look at your business through this lens. What are you saying yes to that needs to become a no?
Where are you choosing comfort over alignment? The familiar over the maybe not so familiar. And where are you keeping yourself busy instead of moving yourself forward?
So that is why I created this worksheet, the Growth Filter, what to say no to, because really that is what encapsulates it. So it will walk you through that 90-day focus. It will find those high-leverage activities. It will help you clearly identify what needs to come off your plate so you can actually grow. You can grab that at the link in the show notes. And if you’re at the stage where you’re ready to simplify, focus, scale what’s already working in your business without adding all the extra complexity, the work streams, that’s exactly the work we do inside my world.
We talk about it on this podcast. Share this with your friends, invite people. We’re also hanging out over on LinkedIn and we’re talking about it over there all the time. It’s such an amazing community. There are so many people over there. Come check us out on LinkedIn. We’ll link that in the show notes too. This is really resonating with people. So please share it with people who need to hear it and make sure that you are spending that time choosing you, choosing the things really worth saying yes to.
Jessica Miller (28:38.22) and saying no to the things that are not serving you. Alrighty, thanks so much for being here, everyone. Until next week, have a beautiful week.
